


Tales From The End Of Time

by elaine



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, M/M, Partner Betrayal, Sentinel/Guide Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-28
Updated: 2011-06-28
Packaged: 2017-12-14 15:46:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/838605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elaine/pseuds/elaine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The earth is slowly dying, but isolated city states still survive. In Cascade, the population is strictly controlled and dissent ruthlessly dealt with. When Jim Ellison is sent to arrest the leader of an outlawed religious cult, his life is changed forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tales From The End Of Time

_“It all started”, Blair tells their children years later, “the night your father raped me.”_

_The words are always said with a soft, almost apologetic, tone and a concerned glance at Jim’s averted face, but it never fails to pain Jim to hear them. He wouldn’t dream of asking Blair to change his story – the value of truth is too precious to be denied, no matter what pain it might cause and besides, even if the words were never said, Jim would always know what he had done. Nor would he excuse his actions, or soften the meaning of them by claiming the extenuating circumstances which were rightly his due. It had happened, and it was part of their story – his story, and Blair’s._

_But, from Jim’s point of view, it had all started several hours earlier._

***

“Sir, you called for me?” Jim stood to attention before his captain’s desk, as he had done many times before. There was nothing to indicate that his life was about to change forever.

“Jim, I’m sorry.” Simon looked weary and harassed, even more so than usual. It was no easy task being captain of the most elite squad in the city of Cascade. “There’s to be a raid tonight, and you’ll be leading it. I tried to find someone else, but you’re the only Primus available at short notice.”

He took the paper held out to him and looked down at the information scribbled there by some clerkish hand. “I know these people, Sir. They seem harmless enough, keep to themselves.”

It was the closest he could bring himself to question his orders, but he might as well have saved his breath. Simon sighed sharply and took back the paper. “The orders come from the Tirran himself. The raid goes ahead at nightfall. Choose your men wisely.”

“Yes, Sir.” Jim saluted smartly and turned on his heel with almost military precision. He supposed he should have realised that he couldn’t avoid the situation indefinitely, but he’d been a member of the Guard for five years, a Primus for over three, and always there had been others who’d been willing, or even eager – though he preferred not to ask those ones – to take his place.

He tightened his jaw and strode through the outer office to the small room where the lower ranked guardsmen gathered when not actively on duty. He had a team to select and a raid to plan. Gods willing, it would be done with the minimum of fuss and bloodshed; but would he ever feel clean again afterwards?

***

Precisely at nightfall, the guardsmen surrounded the small, inconspicuous house in the street of the basket makers, and any citizens who saw them were swift to melt away. Nobody questioned the Tirran’s Elite Guards, or wanted to be in the way when they took action. A soft whistle from the next street told Jim that the back exits were covered, and he gave the signal to proceed.

They swept through the house meeting little resistance, and what there was they easily crushed. Still, after a careful search of the ground and upper floors, they found no sign of any proscribed cultic activities. Everything might have turned out very differently had not Jim ordered the house cleared.

With no other distractions Jim went through the house again listening, looking, certain that they had missed something. He was about to give up when he heard something in the kitchen at the back of the house; a soft mutter of sound coming from beneath the floorboards. It took only moments for him to realise that there must be access, either inside or outside the house, to a cellar.

Angry with the inhabitants, and with himself for having been fooled, Jim shoved aside the heavy wooden table in the centre of the room and dragged the thick mat to one side. Even then it took a moment for him to find the outline of the trapdoor, so finely set into the woodwork that barely a hair’s breadth gap remained.

There must be some kind of catch in the kitchen, but Jim wasted no time searching for it. Drawing his knife, he called for his men and knelt to insert the blade into the crack. It took some cursing and sweating to raise the trapdoor enough that he could grip it with his fingers and throw it back. Beneath, the cellar was in complete darkness, but Jim was aware of the presence of several people – the stench of fear and the scent of incense mingled uneasily. He fancied he could hear the nervous rustle of their clothing, as they no doubt huddled together in terror.

The image was not a pleasant one, and this was only the beginning. He ordered candles to be lit and led three of his men down the narrow stair, little better than a ladder.

If he’d had any doubts about the raid, his first sight of the cellar wall dispelled them. There was a crudely drawn mural on the eastern wall; symbols well known to him – the large black wildcat, the eye within a triangle, the stepped pyramid amidst a lush jungle that nobody living had ever seen. The land outside Cascade was harsh and dry, with few plants of any description. Only within the city was survival possible.

“Which of you is the priest?” The words fell harshly into the silence, which still held in the darkened room. “Step forward and we’ll release your followers.”

A young woman darted towards him, her hand raised, something sharp gleaming between her fingers. He caught her arm easily enough, but to his bemusement, found her slim body surprisingly strong. She fought like a maniac in the few seconds before a voice called out: “Megan, no! Remember your vows.”

She ceased struggling, but Jim was under no illusion that she had surrendered. He handed her to Rafe and turned to the remaining group. He ignored the women; it was not them he wanted. There was no doubt in his mind which of the two men was the one he sought, but still he hesitated. One man was large and middle-aged and as dark as Simon himself. The other was short and slim with a cloud of dark curly hair glinting reddish highlights in the candlelight. His face seemed almost angelic in this light – not a common beauty, perhaps, but a beauty nonetheless. The priests of the Jaguar cult were known by three signs – always male, always beautiful, and always virginal.

Jim swallowed to ease his painfully tight throat and pointed to the younger man. “Take that one.”

***

Even the most detailed reports have to be completed some time, and finally Jim had no excuse left that would allow him to delay the inevitable, final, act. He had no fondness for subversives, or religious fanatics, but he liked the idea of rape even less. He wasn’t alone in that, and those Primii who took pleasure in this particular aspect of a successful raid were almost universally detested.

Still, it was something that needed to be done, Jim told himself. In a way, the priests of the cult had brought it upon themselves. They abstained from sex in order to be pure for the moment when their god arrived on earth in physical form, so that one among them would become the god’s consort. That they believed in one god rather than the Pantheon was as much of their religion as he cared to know about, the only part of it that impacted on  _him_. For now it was his duty – the Tirran’s order – to take the young priest’s virginity and thus render him unfit to fulfil his priestly duties. It had been their standard operating procedure ever since the Tirran outlawed the cult ten years ago.

Why the Tirran had declared them subversives, Jim neither knew nor cared. His interest in religion – even his own – was nominal at best. He kept the high holy days, satisfied those religious duties that the law proclaimed necessary, and never otherwise thought about it. He didn’t think about it now as he reluctantly made his way to the medical room where the priest was being held.

The young man was sitting cross-legged on the examining table, naked, his eyes closed. When Jim shut the door behind him, his eyes opened. Blue, Jim thought involuntarily. Large, blue eyes fixed on his face. The priest managed a small, nervous smile. He knew what to expect – they all did.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Jim spread his hands in a pacifying gesture. “This will go easier if you cooperate.”

“Cooperate.” There was bitterness in the low voice. He closed his eyes again and took a slow, deep breath. “Yes, I’ll cooperate. I’d prefer it if you didn’t…” he glanced apprehensively at the leather cuffs on the table.

In fact, he should have already been restrained. Jim knew why it hadn’t been done – some needed the stimulation of resistance to be able to carry out the rape. Others enjoyed the opportunity to brutalise their victims. Jim simply wanted to get it over with as quickly and easily as possible.

But he couldn’t resist the appeal in the young man’s face and he nodded his assent. “Do as I say and I’ll treat you as well as I’m able.”

“I guess that’s the best offer I’m going to get.” The attempt at humour was hardly successful and Jim saw that he realised it. The full lips tightened for a moment, then the young man slid down off the table and walked slowly towards him. He stopped a couple of steps away from Jim and swallowed. “Might as well get this over with.”

“Turn around. Lean forward, against the table.” Jim spoke as gently as he was able, though his throat was tight and his voice consequently harsh.

“No!” The blue eyes widened, and the priest’s hands came up in a gesture of surrender. “I mean…  can’t we… can’t we  _pretend_ …”

“To be lovers?” Jim laughed incredulously and saw him flinch. “Why would you want to do that?”

He shook his head, tears brightening his eyes, though they didn’t fall. He took a step forward, and another and leaned in, resting his forehead against Jim’s chest. He was trembling. “Tell me your name.”

“Jim.” He hesitated a moment, confused, before lifting his hand to cup against the back of the priest’s head. This wasn’t going according to plan, and he didn’t know how to retrieve the situation. He’d seen other priests of this cult brought into the station – some had been defiant, some terrified and crying. None had behaved like this young man.

“Jim...” His voice was low and rich, sending a resonance through Jim’s body, bringing his cock suddenly to life. “Jim… and my name is Blair.”

He could feel the moist warmth of Blair’s voice through his shirt. “Blair… I’m sorry. I have to do this.”

Blair nodded, not raising his head, and, bringing up his hands, began to unfasten Jim’s shirt. “I know. It’s your destiny to do this, as it is mine to receive you.”

Talk of destiny meant nothing to Jim, but he wasn’t about to argue the point. If it helped them both to get though the next few minutes, then he’d play along. As Blair continued to unbutton his shirt, Jim stroked lightly over the sleek skin of his back and lowered his head to rub his cheek gently against the soft curls.

The shirt slid off his shoulders with a quiet rustle and fell to the floor while Blair explored Jim’s chest with curious, hesitant fingers, reminding him that the priest was inexperienced with men. It wasn’t in Jim’s nature to regret what couldn’t be changed, but for a moment he wished this could be the encounter between lovers that Blair was pretending it to be. Surely it was not too much of a penance for him to play along?

He smoothed his hands down Blair’s body, sliding one hand around, over his hip and between his legs to fondle the soft, swaying cock. Blair gasped and trembled, clutching at his shoulders. Jim smiled, circling the swelling flesh with his fingers and stroking more firmly as the shaft lengthened and hardened. “Have you never even touched yourself, Chief?”

Another tremor ran through Blair’s slim, sturdy frame as he chuckled. “I may be a priest, Jim, but I’m still human. It just feels… different.”

“Better?” Blair’s cock was fully erect now, and Jim slid his thumb tip over the slick cockhead.

“Oh, god…. yes,  _much_  better…” Blair groaned, pressing harder into Jim’s hand and flinging an arm around his neck. “God,  _please_ …”

It occurred to Jim that if he brought Blair off first it would make the rest much easier for them both. He set to with a will, drawing the thick shaft through his fingers while he steadied the shivering priest with an arm around his waist. Soon Blair was thrusting into his hand with complete abandon and shortly thereafter he felt the pulse of Blair’s cock and the hot splash of seed against his belly. Blair slumped against him, breathing hard.

“We’re nearly done, now, Chief.” Jim murmured. “It’ll be all right, you’ll see.” He lifted Blair – not without difficulty, the priest was heavier than he looked – and carried him to the table. He was hard enough, that there wasn’t going to be any difficulty in carrying out his part.

But, as he laid Blair on the table, the blue eyes opened. “No, Jim, please, not like this.”

So far the kid had been reasonable. Jim hesitated to insist now on having his way, just as long as it was done. “How then?”

Blair sat up, swinging his legs to dangle over the side of the table. His eyes swept around the room. It didn’t contain much, just the table, a basic latrine and sanitary basin, and a small closet in one corner. Blair pointed to it. “Is there a blanket in there?”

There was, and it took only moments to lay it, still folded, on the floor. Jim sat on it, feeling remarkably foolish but still willing to buy ease with a show of cooperation. Blair knelt before him, tongue flickering nervously over his lips, and reached for his pants buttons. It took him only moments to open Jim’s pants, and his eyes widened as he felt the heft of another man’s cock for the first time. He managed a small, nervous smile for Jim.

“I’ve got lubricant,” Jim offered, leaning to one side to retrieve it from his pocket. He handed it to Blair, who opened the small vial and poured a little of the viscous substance into his palm. “Ah, gods, that’s good. Yes, that…”

The touch on his cock grew bolder, more confident with each stroke and soon Jim was forced to think seriously about how to proceed to the next step. He caught Blair’s wrist, circling it easily with his fingers, and drew his hand away. “I need to get you ready,” he said hoarsely.

Blair bit his lip, suddenly hesitant, then nodded reluctantly. “How?”

“Come closer.” He waited until Blair was close enough that he was straddling Jim’s crossed legs. “That’s enough. Lean forward.”

Blair steadied himself with a hand on each of Jim’s shoulders and suddenly Jim’s face was only inches from Blair’s chest. Gods, the kid was hairy… he felt a tickle against the end of his nose and almost sneezed; then he surrendered to temptation and brushed his lips across the tip of one erect nipple. While Blair was still gasping, Jim reached between his legs and brushed his fingertips across Blair’s opening.

It took very little time for Blair to adjust to a single finger inside him. He moaned when Jim risked a second and his cock began to swell again. It took all of Jim’s self restraint not to be distracted by the scent of his arousal; he could easily have lost himself in the sensation of soft, coarse hair against his cheek or a nipple between his lips, or the silky smoothness of Blair’s channel around his fingers.

When Jim finally slid three fingers inside him, Blair shuddered and thrust helplessly, his cock rigid and burning against Jim’s chest, and all Jim could think about was taking that cock inside his mouth, his body. It was warning enough that he needed to end this quickly. He pulled his fingers free of Blair’s body and pushed him away a little. “It’s time, Blair.”

Desire faded from Blair’s face as unwelcome reality returned. He blinked vigorously and turned his face slightly away from Jim’s. “Is this okay? Like this?”

Jim wasn’t sure exactly what Blair meant, but whatever would work for Blair would work for him, he supposed. “If that’s what you want.”

He wasn’t really prepared for Blair to sink down until his cock was resting between Blair’s cheeks. He bit back a gasp and took hold of Blair’s hips, steadying him as he lowered himself carefully onto Jim’s cock. Little hitches in his breathing told Jim that there was discomfort, but he didn’t think it was any worse than that. Finally, biting his lips and stifling a groan, Blair pushed down until Jim was fully inside him.

Their eyes met, and Blair’s were wide, his pupils so dilated that scarcely any blue was visible. What he saw in Jim’s face, Jim preferred not to know. They remained still for a while, and then Blair began to move awkwardly, trying to ride Jim’s cock. It took some time, and some guidance from Jim, but eventually he succeeded in establishing a rhythm that worked. His gaze never left Jim’s face, though his brows were furrowed in concentration and his teeth were sunk deep in his lower lip.

Pleasure was forgotten now – there were no moans or sounds of desire, only silent concentration on achieving their goal. Jim reached down between them; his fingers, still slick from opening Blair’s body, closed around Blair’s cock and began to jerk him off. He saw Blair’s eyelids flicker and close, and his head fall back as though in a trance. Blair’s ass clenched around his cock and there was nothing that could stop him now. White light seared the insides of his own eyelids and he cried out hoarsely, but from Blair there wasn’t a sound.

***

 “Blair? Oh, Blair… thank god…” Megan threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. “Are you all right?”

He didn’t answer, just took her hand and squeezed it warningly. A crowded street was not the place to be talking. “Where’s Joel? And the others?”

“Spread out. You know.” She collected herself quickly enough and started to walk, still holding his hand. She lowered her voice. “Did they hurt you?”

Blair shook his head silently, unwilling to trust his voice. After a quick sideways glance, Megan fell silent too and they walked for several minutes without saying a single word before she made a brief comment on the weather. After that it was easier, almost like normal, until they reached a small apartment building.

Joel was waiting upstairs. Like Megan’s had been, his face was creased with worry and his first question was the same, but here, away from prying eyes, Blair was able to let his guard down a little.

“I’m… I’m all right…” he knew he didn’t sound convincing and Joel’s eyes studied him with growing concern. “Really, I’m…” his breath caught, and he choked on the words he’d been rehearsing for the last hour. He felt something liquid splash on his hands and looked down in bewilderment at the clear fluid that, he suddenly realised, was also running in scalding rivulets down his face and dripping onto his shirt in wet splotches.

Joel’s arms were around him before Blair was even aware that his friend was moving. He sobbed once, uncontrollably and then pulled back, his body shaking. “No. I can…”

“God, Blair, I’m so sorry.” Joel looked like he was on the verge of tears himself. “It was all for nothing.”

“No. Joel, it wasn’t…” He managed a smile at last, weak and shaky though it felt. “We were right. He  _is_  the one.” He swiped back the hair clinging damply to his face and knuckled his eyes. “The prophecy was right.”

***

“…and when you’re ready, I’ll just go over the details again.” The joviality in Simon’s deep voice was entirely – deliberately – insincere as the smile on his lips.

Jim rubbed his forehead, resigned to being top of Simon’s shit list for the foreseeable future. “Sorry, Sir.”

The faux smile disappeared to be replaced by a frown that was genuinely concerned. “Are your allergies playing up again?”

“Yeah. Since last night.” It didn’t take a genius to make the connection – his senses always went haywire when Jim was stressed or upset about something. He stared resignedly as Simon’s lips thinned, and shrugged. Allergies might be the excuse he used, but both he and Simon knew damned well that wasn’t what caused his problems. “I’ll survive.”

“Want the day off?” Simon offered, his voice suddenly gentle. “It’ll likely be quiet for a few days. You know how it is.”

Jim nodded absently. It was always quiet after a raid, with all the other disruptive elements lying low for fear of bringing the Tirran’s wrath (and more importantly, his Guards) down on  _their_ heads. It was a tempting offer, but Jim squeezed the bridge of his nose before shaking his head. If he went home he wouldn’t have anything to distract him from his thoughts, and that was a far worse prospect than enduring the noise of a busy Guards office.

“Okay, just take it easy.” Simon turned his attention to the files on his desk. “And send in Brown, will you? He and Rafe can take over that case you were so interested in.”

“Will do, Simon.” Jim managed a smile at the return of Simon’s almost habitual grouchiness. “Thanks.”

As the day wore on, every minute seeming like an hour, the headache grew inexorably worse. By mid-afternoon, Jim was more than ready to capitulate when Simon ordered him to leave. He called into the small tavern where most of the Guards hung out – too early for many to be there but it wasn’t company he was after. He bought a bottle of cheap akavit. It wouldn’t help with the headache – nothing would – but if he drank enough it would at least help him to sleep. Almost as an afterthought, Jim picked up some food at the market. He’d need something to line his stomach if he didn’t want the booze to eat its way through his gut.

As soon as he got home Jim stripped off his uniform and poured a few, precious cups of water into a bowl and sponged himself down. Since his senses had started behaving strangely a few months ago, he’d been unable to tolerate the sonic cleanser. It wasn’t, theoretically, possible for a human ear to detect the high frequency pulses but the crawling sensation on his skin and the barely discernable vibration in his skull set Jim’s nerves on edge.

Sacrificing this small portion of his daily water allowance to wash with was a luxury he could afford – as long as he kept his position in the Elite Guards. More than the wages he earned, which were as pitiful as most other peoples’, his job gave him rations for space, water, and food that allowed him to live alone, eat food that wasn’t entirely vat-grown, and have enough water to quench his thirst even on the hottest day – with a little left over for washing, if he was careful. It was a better life than he could hope for in any other profession.

He dressed again in light pants and shirt made from the highest quality synths he could afford and forced himself to eat. The lure of alcoholic escape helped him to choke down the unappetising meal, at least half of it, and then he uncapped the akavit and took his first long swallow. Fire exploded in his belly and Jim coughed, his eyes watering. The second swallow was easier. By the third the room was already wavering before his eyes.

Jim slammed his fist against the wall and with a creaking reluctance the sleeping platform inched out of its recess. He took another mouthful, unsteady now on his feet, and then another, before replacing the cap with exaggerated care. Finally, with a sigh, he dropped down onto the bed and waited, his arm flung across his eyes, for oblivion to find him.

***

The next morning, instead of feeling better, everything was worse. Much worse. If Jim hadn’t bought the akavit from a properly licensed bar, he would have suspected it was the illegal and highly dangerous product of home brewers. But since he  _had_  bought the legal stuff, there was no way he could blame his condition on a hangover.

Jim lay still for a few moments, collecting his strength. This was really bad, the worst it had been since those first few days of his enhanced senses. His skin was on fire and his gut roiled – although  _that_  at least he could reasonably blame on the akavit. His head was pounding and his vision fading in and out – one moment painfully bright and sharp, the next dark and blurred. Either way, he was effectively blind.

When, some immeasurable time later, his condition improved slightly, Jim fumbled for his personal comm. “Ellison here. Patch me through to Banks.”

“Jim? Why aren’t you here already?” Simon barked. “Or don’t I want to know?”

“You really don’t, Simon.” The use of his first name was a signal that the conversation was off record. “I’m sick. Okay?”

There was a long silence. After yesterday, Simon would be in no doubt as to the cause of Jim’s “illness”, but they’d both done their best to gloss over these outbreaks. Simon valued his Primus and his friend, and neither of them wanted Jim to lose his job or suddenly disappear, as anyone labelled ‘Unusual’ was prone to do.

A heavy sigh prefaced Simon’s “take care of yourself, Jim” and then the line went silent.

Jim sank down against the thin mattress. There was nothing he could do but wait it out.

***

Joel and Megan were whispering together, probably about him. Blair opened his eyes, abandoning without reluctance his pathetic attempt at meditation. Truth was, he hadn’t been able to achieve a true meditative state since… he ended that line of thought with a little frown of impatience as he rose to his feet and stretched.

“Talking about me again?” It came out more sharply than he’d intended and Blair summoned up an unconvincing smile for his friends.

“It’s been three days.” Megan was always more willing to voice uncomfortable opinions than Joel, and she ignored his soft-voiced protest. “Are you sure, Blair? Shouldn’t he…” she hesitated as Joel laid his hand on her arm.

What was he supposed to tell them? He’d been sure, absolutely, but Megan was right. Surely Jim should have found him by now. It didn’t help that he felt lost, more alone than he’d ever been in his life. But wasn’t that where faith came in? Blair was beginning to wonder – not about his god, but about his own strength of purpose.

The silence stretched out too long before he said, “We can only trust in the Message. He  _will_  come to us.”

“Blair’s right, Megan.” Joel smiled reassuringly at Blair, though his eyes were sorrowful. “There’s nothing more we can do. It’s in the hands of the universe.”

“Of course.” Megan managed a tight smile.

They were all on edge, tiptoeing around each other’s fears and doubts. It would have helped if they’d been able to go outside, get away from each other; but apart from Megan and Joel’s occasional forays for food, they didn’t dare risk the Guards’ attention.

For Blair it was worse – neither Megan nor Joel would hear of him risking another arrest, so  _he_  was trapped inside the apartment that was in no way adequate to accommodate three adults.

“Well, I’ll just…” Blair waved a vague hand towards the sleeping platform that also served him for meditation. It wasn’t large, barely big enough for them all to squeeze onto when they slept, but it took up almost half the available floor space.

Reminding himself that this was almost luxurious by some standards, Blair sat cross-legged, took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. Maybe this time…

A wild flurry of knocking on the apartment door almost made Blair jump out of his skin. He met Megan and Joel’s startled gazes with a sinking sensation in his gut. Had the authorities decided to persecute them further? Nobody else from their group would put themselves or Blair at risk by coming here. He scrambled to his feet, waving Megan away from the door. They couldn’t protect him, and would only get hurt themselves if they tried.

Another, imperious, volley of knocks made him pause, but there was no point in pretending the apartment was empty. In a moment or two, the Guards – if it was them – would be breaking the door down. He opened the door and froze, his eyes widening.

It wasn’t just that he’d almost given up the hope that Jim would come to him; the man who stood framed in the doorway bore little resemblance to the calm, controlled man who’d taken his virginity and then escorted him out of the guard station. His face was pale, almost greyish, and his eyes were rimmed in red and bloodshot. There were lines of pain, or maybe stress, around his tight-lipped mouth, and a scruff of sparse beard on his jaw.

Blair took an involuntary step backwards.  _God, he looks bad_. “Jim! Come inside. Be welcome.”

As Blair spoke the ritual words of greeting, Jim took a hurried step forward, his hands rising to frame Blair’s face. He pulled Blair towards him, lowering his head to brush an awkward, hasty kiss against Blair’s lips. It sent a fierce, unexpected jolt of pleasure through Blair, and he shivered involuntarily. Then Jim released him, and he swayed a little, feeling dazed.

Jim’s face was a mask of guilt and confusion. “Oh, gods… I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Blair. I didn’t mean to…” he backed up, putting himself outside the apartment door.

“No! Jim, please…” Blair caught his wrists in both hands, clinging on with all his strength as it looked like Jim was getting ready to flee. “I want to talk to you. Please, come in.”

As Jim hesitated, Blair tugged on his arms. “Please. Joel and Megan are just going out for a while. We’ll be alone.” He ignored Joel’s soft protest. “It’s okay, come on in.”

He waited for the door to close behind Megan, ignoring her anxious glance. All his attention was on Jim, who looked to be on the verge of losing all control; even the quiet click of the door made him flinch and cast a wild look in Blair’s direction.

“I shouldn’t have come here.” He started to back away from Blair, pulling his arms from Blair’s loosened grip. “I don’t know why… I just had to… I shouldn’t have come…” He pressed shaking fingers to the bridge of his nose, grimacing in pain.

“I know why you came.” Blair forced a calmness he wasn’t feeling into his voice. “Jim, I’ve been waiting for you for the last three days. I was beginning to fear…” He stepped forward, into Jim’s personal space and laid his hands flat on Jim’s chest. Beneath his palms, Jim’s heart pounded, an irregular, rapid beat. “Please, Jim, sit down. Let me explain what’s happening to you.”

“You  _know_  about this?” Jim caught hold of his upper arms, his fingers digging painfully into the muscle, but as soon as Blair winced, he released him and stepped back again. It was all the confirmation Blair needed to be sure that the bond had been initiated.

When Jim spoke again, his voice sounded weary, disillusioned. “Tell me about it.”

“Sit down, Jim.” Blair gestured towards the only seating available – the sleeping platform – and Jim dropped onto it with a sigh. He sat beside Jim, resuming his meditation position. “I think… I need to start with something that happened thirty-five years ago.” He smiled at Jim’s impatient expression. “Sorry, but it’s the only way you’re going to understand.”

“Go on.” Jim shifted slightly further away from Blair. His body still radiated tension and fear.

“God has always granted their priests visions. Foretellings of what is to come.” Blair glanced quickly at Jim, but all he saw was thinly veiled impatience. “Thirty-five years ago, the then priest saw that a child would be born who, when grown to a man, would lead the people out of this city and into a place where food, water, space was abundantly available.”

Jim rolled his eyes and muttered something clearly derogatory under his breath.

Blair smiled serenely. “Ten years later, the same priest saw that the one who was to lead us would have powers that no other man possessed, and these powers would aid us in finding this new home.”

“What? Was this saviour to magically transport you all to the holy land?”

“No. However, he would have the ability to hear things that others couldn’t, to see far beyond what others could see. All his senses would be sharper, stronger.” Blair saw with a rush of satisfaction that Jim’s body had gone very still, his face blank and impenetrable in its expression. “These powers would aid the people in traversing the wastelands. We know that there is water, scarce and difficult to find though it is. The ability to find that water, and animals to hunt for food, would make all the difference, Jim.”

“I suppose it would,” Jim admitted grudgingly.

When he said nothing more, Blair sighed. “Then, god sent another vision – to Joel, my friend – ten years ago. The vision told us that the man would not come fully into his powers until he joined with our priest, in a soul bond.”

“You think…” Jim scrambled to his feet, and stood staring down at Blair. “We don’t have a… a soul bond. There’s no such thing.”

“We don’t have a soul bond.” Blair agreed. “Please, Jim, hear me out.”

He waited for Jim to sit again before continuing. “The priests have always been chaste, so that they were not distracted from their duties by familial or romantic relationships. At this time, god revealed that the Chosen would only be able to form a soul bond with one who had never been intimate with another person. He would be able to sense a lover’s imprint on the priest.”

“That’s why the Tirran…” Jim’s eyes dropped, no longer meeting Blair’s gaze, and his cheeks heated in shame.

“Yes. The Tirran has tried to prevent the Chosen from ever developing his powers by ensuring that none of the priests remained chaste for very long.” Blair leaned toward Jim, laying his hand on Jim’s arm. The muscle bunched beneath his touch, but Jim didn’t move away. “Jim, there’s one more foretelling. One that I saw four months ago.”

He hesitated until he saw that he had Jim’s full attention. “I saw that the Chosen had begun to come into his powers, but they were not fully developed. I saw that I would be the one to bond with him. God told me what to do, to prepare for him to find me.”

“But it’s too late! You can’t… not now…”

“Jim…” Blair leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the mouth. “Open your eyes, Jim. Can’t you see what’s happened? What’s still happening between us?”

“You said… we don’t have a soul bond. And I’m not… not this… this  _chosen_  of yours… I don’t have any special powers.”

“One act of sex can’t create a soul bond, Jim. We’ve barely begun.” Blair smiled, sweet anticipation surging through his body. He knew… god, he  _knew_ … and with every fibre of his being he wanted it. “You  _are_  the Chosen. You would never have found me otherwise. How did you know where we were hidden?”

Jim blinked. “I heard you. Once the others were out of the house and there were no distractions, I could hear you in the basement. Anyone could have heard…” his voice trailed off uncertainly.

“No.” Blair shook his head. “We were so quiet, Jim. Nobody else could have heard us. Only you. There’s more, though. What happened to you on the fifteenth day of Maya this year?”

“How did you…?” Jim’s lips thinned. “Nothing happened.”

He ignored the obvious lie. “That was the day I had the vision. The first prophecy, thirty-five years ago? The priest saw that vision on the twenty-third day of Fevru.”

“My birth date,” Jim said, slowly, disbelievingly.

Blair nodded. “I know.”

 ***

Blair smiled serenely. “So, Jim, how did you know where to find me?”

 They’d only been talking for about twenty minutes, but already Jim was learning to be wary of that expression on the priest’s face. He sighed. “I don’t know. I just…” he hesitated. If he said he’d just known, Blair would immediately assume it was something to do with his ridiculous religion. Unwillingly, he forced himself to think back over the last couple of hours, reliving in his memory the growing frustration and sense of urgency until he’d just had to get out of his apartment.

He’d wandered the streets for a while, casting back and forth like some hunting beast until…  “I was close by here, by that small market on Fourth. I smelled something…” he closed his eyes, inhaling sharply, and caught a whiff of it again. On Blair. “It was… I don’t know… but I can smell it on you now. I must have recognised it. Anyway, I followed that scent and it brought me here.”

Blair was staring at him, wide-eyed, all smugness forgotten. “Jim, I haven’t left this apartment since we got here three days ago.”

“No! I don’t believe you.” Jim shook his head sharply, “There’s no way I could have followed a scent three days old. It’s just not possible. You must have-”

 “Megan!” Blair grinned suddenly. “Megan went to that market a few hours ago. And…” his eyes grew impossibly rounder, “I hugged her before she left.  _God_ , Jim… you picked up my scent on Megan?”

“It’s not possible.” Jim turned his head away, swallowing convulsively. “I don’t understand how you can even  _want_  it to be true.”

“What I want doesn’t come into it, Jim.” Blair’s fingers brushed lightly over the back of Jim’s hand. “God has chosen both of us to lead the people out of Cascade and to our new home. And _that_ … that I want with all my heart.”

“Then damn the gods!” Jim pulled away from his touch. “Your god asks too much of you, of both of us.” He stood abruptly and swayed as the room faded. How long had it been since he’d eaten, slept? He couldn’t remember.

“Jim, lean on me.” Blair’s arm was around his waist, his shoulder under Jim’s arm, keeping him upright, barely. “What’s done is done. And I would not have my sacrifice wasted. Nor yours.”

He could no more have prevented himself from wrapping his free arm around Blair’s shoulders than he could have stopped his own heart from beating. Jim buried his face in the soft cloud of loose curls and breathed deeply, feeling the knots in his gut unravel, only to be replaced with new ones. Desire. Need. Love? Could he love a man he barely knew? A man he’d used so despicably?

Blair moaned softly, his breath warm and moist against Jim’s throat. “Jim, please…  _please_  believe me.”

Standing like this, with all his senses filled with Blair, it was impossible to resist any longer. It was impossible even to want to resist. Jim raised his head just enough so he could kiss Blair’s temple. “I do believe you.”

***

_Often enough, it’s at this point that Blair’s narrative falters and he falls silent. If the silence lasts long enough a small piping voice will, inevitably, prompt impatiently “But what happened next?”_

_In such cases, Jim would invariably say in a deliberately dry tone that set any adults within earshot to smiling, “We found ways to pass the time while we were waiting for god to show us what we should do.” He’s always careful when he does this not to meet Blair’s eyes or glance at his heated cheeks._

_It isn’t that Blair doesn’t care to remember what had happened in those early days. No, what he_ does _remember always brings a flush to his face and a gleam to his eyes and, more often than not, leads to him dragging Jim off to some private place from which they won’t emerge for several hours. It’s just that there isn’t a lot he_ could _remember. At least, not very clearly._

***

Joel and Megan weren’t happy. At all. Somewhere in the recesses of his brain, Blair understood, even agreed with them. It was just that he  _needed_  to be with Jim. Alone. He shifted closer to Jim’s side and glanced up at him, hopefully; but Jim was nodding his head in sombre agreement, a tiny frown between his brows.

“It’s too dangerous,” Joel repeated, his voice quietly urgent. “If the Tirran has even the slightest suspicion that you’ve bonded, he’d order you both killed without hesitation.”

Blair ran his tongue over dry lips and was distracted by the taste of Jim. His whole being cried out to be one with his bondmate; nobody had ever told him it would be like  _this_ … he knew what they both needed and it wasn’t going to happen here.

“Jim,” he hissed desperately, but Jim was moving away from him, putting out a hand to ward him off.

“We’ll wait until dark. There’ll be more people on the streets then. We won’t be noticed if we’re careful.”

Blair moaned in frustration.

After that, things became a little… blurry.

He remembers being on a street, walking at Jim’s side among the crowds of people escaping the confines of their miserable apartments as the cooling evening air made being outside a pleasure rather than a burden. He doesn’t remember the route they took to Jim’s home, or entering the building.

He remembers Jim coding open the door of his apartment and he remembers dragging Jim inside, shaking hands already tugging impatiently at Jim’s clothing. And the press of Jim’s lips against his own, and the taste of Jim’s mouth exploding through his senses. He remembers the feel of smooth, hot skin and the sound that Jim makes when Blair’s fingers wrap around his cock.

…painfully bright light, the smell of stale sweat and human despair…sickening fear…what if he’s not the One? What if he’s a monster? What if the prophecy is wrong and his sacrifice is all for nothing…

He remembers Jim’s voice: “It’s all right. We don’t have to do this.” And his answer, lacking conviction even to his own ears: “I  _want_  to, Jim.”

“It doesn’t have to be… there are other ways we can do this...”

He remembers looking down at Jim, kneeling before him, remembers the sweet clutch of Jim’s mouth on his cock and the movement of Jim’s hand between his thighs as he hastily brings himself off.

He doesn’t remember reaching the sleeping platform, but he does remember the slick feel of the liquid Jim gives him and the long, agonised groan Jim makes when his cock slides into Jim’s body, and the heat and the sweat and the shattering intensity of his climax.

He remembers lying against Jim’s side in the dark and whispering: “I didn’t know it could feel that good… I want to give you that gift, Jim. I  _want_  to…” and he remembers Jim’s soft chuckle and the press of lips against his temple, and Jim’s promise: “It can feel just as good on the receiving end. When you’re ready, I’ll show you.”

Those are the things he remembers.

***

“Looks like those allergies have cleared up.” Simon paused on his way past Jim’s desk. He’d been in and out of meetings all day and they hadn’t had any chance to catch up, much to Jim’s relief. He didn’t know how to explain what had happened and he was pretty sure Simon would rather not know anyway.

“Yeah, I’m feeling pretty good now.” Jim smiled, carefully neutral. Just two days in Blair’s company and he felt like a different man. It made no sense, by any standard Jim believed in, but he found it hard to care about that any more.

Simon’s dark eyes examined his face and it seemed that what he saw reassured him. “I’ll keep you on desk duty another day and then we’ll see, okay?”

“Sure.” Riding a desk wasn’t exactly his favourite pastime, and Simon’s eyes narrowed at his easy acceptance. Jim shrugged. “At least I’ll have time to catch up on my filing.”

Simon snorted disbelievingly, but left him alone for the rest of the day.

As early as he dared, Jim saved his files and closed down the comms station. Simon had already left and the rest of the guardsmen weren’t likely to want to socialise. Jim had always kept pretty much to himself, and that had only gotten more pronounced once the problem with his senses started. He nodded to a couple of the men, but didn’t speak to them.

Once out on the street, Jim lost no time in picking up what supplies he needed and then heading straight for his apartment. Blair would be waiting and, having been separated from him for the first time, the day had seemed interminable. It was difficult to keep his steps to a steady pace as he neared his home; his feet kept wanting to break into a run.

As soon as he opened the door, Blair practically threw himself into Jim’s arms. “Jim! Oh, thank god! I’ve been going craz-”

Blair’s mouth tasted even sweeter than he remembered, and the scent of his body was downright intoxicating. Jim pressed his face into the curve of neck and shoulder and inhaled deeply. The restlessness that had bugged him all day was gone, barely even a memory. Blair’s hands were on him, trembling with eagerness, stripping him of clothes and coherent speech at the same time. He pressed a soft kiss to Jim’s nipple while he fumbled with the fastening of Jim’s pants. There was no hesitation in him now, as they stumbled onto the sleeping platform, only a hunger to match Jim’s own and as soon as they’d bared enough skin, they forgot all else, shoving and grinding against each other until wet heat exploded between them and Blair sagged on top of him, still gasping for breath.

They slept a little, hot and sticky and complacent, then Jim slipped out from under Blair to wash himself sketchily. Dressed once more, he left Blair to sleep a little longer while he investigated the supplies that either Megan or Joel had brought earlier in the day. Jim’s own rations, while generous for one man, wouldn’t stretch to serve two and he could hardly request extra rations. So, every day, one of Blair’s friends would arrive with some additional food and water.

The smell of heating food woke Blair soon enough and he stumbled into the tiny cubicle that contained the sonic cleanser. Jim could tolerate it better now, though not enough to use it himself. When Blair came out, wearing just a thin, loose pair of pants, Jim passed him a bowl of food.

They talked only a little as they ate. Jim, at first reluctant, told Blair a little about his day at the station and Blair chattered about some gadget that Joel had brought him. Jim didn’t pay a lot of attention, thinking it was simply conversation to pass time until they could return to the sleeping platform and spend an hour or two distracting each other.

He learned his mistake when, meal finished, Blair pulled a small, old-fashioned comms unit out of his backpack and activated the holo display.

“Where in the gods names did you get that?” Jim stared at the projected image in dismay. Maps were forbidden, except for the tiny street maps of the city, which were useless anyway, because whole sections of the city had been known to disappear in the space of a few days, to be replaced with new buildings and streets in completely different configurations. This, however, was a map of the entire world. For a moment, Jim allowed himself to be entranced by the sight of the blue, green and brown globe, rotating slowly beneath a canopy of fluffy wisps of cloud.

He snatched the unit out of Blair’s hands and deactivated it. “You realise this is our death warrant, if it’s found?”

“It won’t be found.” Blair smiled serenely. “Jim, Joel’s been searching for this for months. He used a different public comms unit for each step he took to find the data, and this unit has no network interface. There’s no way to trace it here.” He took back the unit from Jim’s slackened grasp and brought up the holo again. “This is a satellite image, Jim, captured before the last of them fell. It must be thousands of years old. Can you imagine?”

“Then what use is it to us?” The information must be out of date. The world had changed and nobody really knew what lay outside the cities now.

“It will show me where we need to go.” Blair’s voice was confident. “All I have to do is study it.”

***

Leaving Jim to sleep, Blair slipped out from under his arm and reached for the comms unit. In the darkened room, the holo was brighter than usual and Blair watched the globe spinning slowly, trying not to succumb to his growing frustration. Three days of study and meditation had got him precisely nowhere. Not surprising, perhaps, considering that he was finding it almost impossible to achieve a true meditative state.

He hadn’t expected it to be like this.

Of course, he’d known that Jim would depend on him, need him; the soul bond helped Jim to control his senses. But Blair hadn’t known that he would need Jim just as desperately, that spending hours apart would gnaw at him, that when they came together after that separation he would be able to think of nothing except holding Jim, being inside him; feeding the bond that nourished them both.

Eventually, he was sure, the intensity would fade and they could spend time apart without difficulty. The bond was new, and fragile. Already, Blair could feel it was strengthening, that being separated was, if only slightly, less onerous. He looked down at Jim’s face, watching the reflected light, blue and green, swirling across his features and felt a swell of satisfaction, and arousal, muted enough that it was easy to set aside, for now.

Maybe tonight. Tonight he felt calmer, clearer headed. And Jim would sleep for a while longer. With a sigh, Blair settled himself cross-legged on the mattress beside Jim, and laid one hand lightly on his thigh. The physical connection helped to ground him and he focused on the spinning globe, allowing himself to sink into a meditative trance.

Without thinking, Blair raised his hand to brush fingertips lightly across the ‘surface’ of the holo. It moved under his unconscious direction; the rotation ceased and the globe changed its angle, then the surface expanded, enlarging the area he touched. Blair continued to explore, sometimes closing his eyes, the better to focus his mind on what he sought.

He knew the moment he found it. Blair opened his eyes. Hovering less than an arm’s length from his face, he saw a dark green splotch – a tree filled valley, strange enough to eyes that had never seen a real tree, only the stunted, twisted thorn bushes that grew close outside the city. Stranger still was the hard-edged shape at its centre. Not natural, that was obvious – it was too defined, too symmetrical. Blair realised he’d always thought of the pyramid as symbolic; he’d never expected it to be  _real_.

“Jim.” He tightened his grip on Jim’s thigh, shook it urgently. “Jim, wake  _up_.”

“What is it?” Jim was alert instantly, probably expecting danger. “I can’t hear anything.”

“I’ve found it.” Blair heard the tremor in his voice, and the excitement grew in him. He couldn’t take his eyes off the holo. “Jim, I’ve  _found_  it!”

He felt the mattress move as Jim sat, then the warmth of his body against his back. Jim nuzzled his ear briefly before turning his attention to the holo. Almost immediately, Blair felt him stiffen. “Is that…”

“It’s as detailed as I can get.” Blair caught hold of the arm that crept around his waist, fingers tightening urgently. “What can  _you_  see?”

There was a long silence, then Jim said quietly, “It looks like the mural, in the house where I…”

“Jim…” Blair twisted around to face him. “Jim, it’s all right. You know I forgive you. You  _know_  I love you. You’re my  _soul_.”

“I know.” Jim touched his face gently before looking past Blair’s shoulder to stare at the holo again. “Where is it?”

“Uh…” he’d had his eyes closed for that part. Quickly, Blair zoomed out and they stared at the map in dismay. The pyramid was located near the top end of the southern continent, on the mid-point between the Earth’s poles. Cascade lay far to the north of the northern continent.

Jim swallowed noisily. “It’s impossible. We’ll never make it that far.”

“We will,” Blair said with more determination than faith. “We have to, Jim. We’ve been making preparations for years.”

“Blair, how can we possibly… for the gods’ sake! This map… it’s not even useful. How is this going to help us? Look at Cascade.”

He looked. On the map, Cascade was almost on the coast. It was possible, seeing this map, to believe the legends that Cascade had once been a thriving port. Now it was far inland, on a ledge above a dried out valley. “We can still use it. We know where to go now, and there’s got to be some areas where there’ll still be water, even if it’s underground. This map will help us locate them and your senses will do the rest.”

“You’re insane.” Jim’s voice had a dull, hopeless tone. “Even if you’re right about that, there are people out there, people who’d kill you all for a meal or a canteen of water. I can’t protect you all, not alone, not over that kind of distance. How many of you are there, anyway?”

“About four hundred. None of us really know for sure.” The enormity of it was starting to sink in. Blair felt sick. “We’re split into cells, a few dozen in each, and each with different tasks. We have transportation, and supplies. We’ll do it because we have to.”

“Unless some of your people are trained in security and defence, we won’t make it.” Jim caught hold of Blair’s shoulders and shook him sharply. “Do you have anyone like that?”

Blair didn’t need to answer.

***

_When Daryl was younger, he would always interrupt at this point. But Daryl is fourteen now, one of the oldest of the new generation and too aware of his almost-adult status to want to listen to what he considers children’s stories. So now it’s four-year-old Xandi who pipes, “Tell us about Unca Simon, Poppa.”_

_Jim smiles fondly at their youngest son, the only child of Blair’s seed – the surrogacy a gift from Simon and Joan after they decided one child of their own was enough. A brown skinned, dark-eyed, miniature Blair, Xandi is his Papa’s joy and delight. He’s everybody’s joy and delight, if the truth be told._

_So Jim simply tweaks a curl and pinches the end of Xandi’s inquisitive nose and takes up the story where Blair has left off, “We couldn’t have made it without Simon…”_

***

 Blair objected loudly, and at great length, and repeatedly, but Jim simply waited until he ran out of breath. “I’m not taking you with me.”

“Jim, you  _need_ …”

“I’m not taking you with me, and that’s final.” Before Blair could open his mouth again, Jim laid his hand across it. Blair’s eyes widened comically and muffled sounds tickled Jim’s palm. He could have understood what Blair was saying if he’d tried, but he didn’t try. “Chief, I just can’t take that risk. You  _know_  what’ll happen if you’re arrested again.”

The thought of Blair being taken back to that cell, and of what would happen to him there, was enough to make Jim’s stomach churn. It wouldn’t break the bond between them; he didn’t think there was anything that could do that now. But it might break Blair. Simon was his oldest friend, but Jim knew with absolute certainty that he’d kill him with his bare hands before he allowed that to happen.

Seeing the stricken look in Blair’s eyes, Jim released him only long enough to pull his unresisting body into a tight embrace. He closed his eyes, senses opening up to take in every trace of Blair’s presence; giving comfort, taking comfort. He realised he was trembling just as badly as Blair. “I won’t let it happen,” he whispered, and tightened his grip even more. “But you’ve  _got_  to let me protect you.”

“Jim’s right.” Megan’s voice was gentle, but decisive.

Joel rumbled his agreement. “We can’t risk both of you.”

Reluctantly, Jim released Blair and stepped back, his eyes pleading with Blair to listen, to be  _reasonable_  about this.

Blair shook his head stubbornly. “And it’s Jim we can least afford to lose. That’s why  _I_  should-”

“I’ve got the best chance of getting away if there’s trouble.” Jim interrupted, his frustration rising again. “Besides, we both know that without you, my senses are unreliable at best. I won’t be any use to your people without you to guide me.”

“But, Jim…” Blair sighed, defeated at last, and Jim allowed himself a moment of relief. He knew  _exactly_  how Blair felt, but he wasn’t going to let that affect his resolution in any way. He needed to protect Blair and he wasn’t going to compromise on that score.

“Blair’s right, though.” Jim turned to glare at Joel, who calmly ignored the warning, “you need someone to explain to your friend what we’re trying to do.”

“Fine. You explain it all to me, and I’ll-”

Joel shook his head. “I’ll come with you.”

And even though both Blair and Megan objected violently, Joel refused to reconsider.

***

It wasn’t difficult to set up a meeting with Simon – a brief call to his home, mention of Jim’s “allergies”, and it was agreed. They met at a park mid way between Simon’s apartment block and Jim’s. That the park, at a size of around fifty square metres, was the largest public space in Cascade was no coincidence.

At mid-afternoon, there were just enough people to make them inconspicuous but not enough to make the park so crowded that they were in danger of being overheard. It also allowed Joel to loiter within range of Jim’s signal, waiting to see how Simon reacted to Jim’s overtures.

Which was badly, as it turned out. “Come on, Jim… you really expect me to believe that stuff?” Simon glared at him, clearly torn between suspicion and concern. “If even half of this is for real, I ought to lock you up for the next hundred years.”

Jim stared over Simon’s shoulder, debating whether to chuckle and pretend that it was all a joke – taking the escape route that Simon was offering him. But Simon was his friend, and not only did Jim need him, he deserved a chance at a future that was better than anything Cascade would ever offer him and his family.

Finally, he sighed. “Look, Simon, I’m putting my life in your hands here. And I’m doing it because I really think this plan – crazy as it sounds – could actually work. Everything they’ve told me so far has checked out.”

So now it was done. Tension simmered between them for a moment and then abruptly evaporated as they silently acknowledged that Simon was – at the very least – not going to throw Jim to the Tirran’s personal guard.

“You’re asking me to take my wife and my son, and go out into the wastelands, travel thousands of kilometres through gods know what dangers, all on the word of some flaky doomsday cult?” Simon spread his hands in bewilderment. “Jim, that’s a hell of a risk. I don’t know if I can do that.”

He seemed sincere. Jim had quickly learned how to use his senses to tell when people were lying to him; but there was no sign that Simon was leading him on. His heartbeat might be elevated – that would hardly be surprising – but there was no nervous sweat, no shiftiness in the eyes, none of the minute, uncontrollable twitches and facial tics of someone trying to hide something.

“There’s someone I want you to meet. He can explain all the religious stuff much better than me.” He signalled unobtrusively and a moment later Joel wandered past, before hesitating with a smile and saying casually, “Jim, great to see you again.”

Simon’s heartbeat went crazy and he made a soft, strangled sound as Jim turned to look at him. “Esu save me… are you… you’re…”

“Yes.” Joel nodded soberly. “I recognised you too, as soon as I saw you.”

“You  _know_  each other?” Jim’s puzzlement increased as Simon looked away, with just a brief nod of assent. His face had greyed and grown lined in only seconds. A heartbeat more, and Jim figured it out. “Gods… gods, I don’t believe this.”

“Simon.” Joel stretched out a hand, almost touching Simon’s shoulder, and then let it fall. “I forgave you many years ago.”

“ _You_  may have forgiven me, but I haven’t forgiven myself.” Simon answered, bitterly. Then he rubbed his hand over his face and looked up. “I’m sorry. Sorry for… for everything.”

“I’m sorry too.” Joel’s voice was as calm as if they were discussing the weather. “We’ve both suffered, but now you have a chance to make amends.”

“Maybe.” Simon glanced at Jim, but spoke to Joel. “I have a wife, a son. I won’t risk their lives for a half-assed dream out of guilt for what I’ve done. But, if you can convince me it will work…”

Joel smiled. “Simon, I  _know_  it will work.”

He nodded slightly when Jim lifted an eyebrow enquiringly and Jim stood. “I’ll leave the two of you to discuss religion, if you don’t mind. Simon knows how much I love that.” He waited until Simon chuckled, albeit nervously, then sketched a quick salute. “I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

***

“Blair!” The stranger’s voice roused Jim from a restless doze and he stirred reluctantly, his limbs drugged with sleep and sex, and buried his nose further into the tickling curls of Blair’s hair. “Joel’s on his way. He’ll be here in ten minutes.”

Jim tightened his arms around Blair’s body ignoring Blair’s attempt to pull away from him. An hour – surely no more than that – wasn’t enough to make up for the deprivation of five days separation from Blair.

“Jim, come on.” Blair’s hand closed over his bicep and shook him, gently at first, then more determinedly. Finally a sharp slap on his ass roused Jim enough to let his higher brain functions kick in and he rolled onto his back with a muttered protest. Blair remained unrepentant. “Well, it was your idea. It’s not  _my_  fault you’re paranoid. We need to clean up before Joel and Simon get here.”

It  _had_  been his idea to send Blair down to the caverns – caverns Jim had never visited until today, and could not reveal the location of – as a safety precaution against the risk of Simon turning him in. Not a huge risk, but Jim was fast coming to the realisation that where Blair’s safety was concerned he wasn’t entirely rational. And it seemed that Jim’s opinion carried some weight; enough, at least, to convince Megan and Joel to hide Blair in one of the smaller caverns beneath the city, and keep him there until Jim was satisfied that Simon was truly convinced to join them.

The sudden absence of Blair’s body heat forced Jim to open his eyes just in time to see Blair’s shapely ass disappearing into the tiny ‘fresher cubicle. The one place he couldn’t follow. With a heavy sigh, Jim levered himself upright and splashed a tiny amount of water into a dish so he could clean himself up. He was trying to disentangle his clothes from Blair’s when Blair appeared again.

“Sorry, Jim.” Blair walked into his arms and hugged him fiercely. “It’s been difficult being apart for so long.”

“For me too,” Jim admitted and hugged back. “It shouldn’t be much longer now. Simon’s recruited about twenty of the guards. Once all the supplies are gathered and the equipment’s checked, we should be able to leave within a few days.”

“…my faith’s very important to me.” Simon’s voice, still a way off, caught Jim’s attention.

Joel’s lighter voice answered. “I understand that, Simon, but there’s really no conflict. The gods that you follow – Esu, Ayla, Uhda, and Ahwe – we believe that they’re all different ways of worshipping the same god. We don’t ask anyone to forego their beliefs…”

Jim tuned them out. The two men had struck up a close, if unlikely friendship, and seemed to debate endlessly things that simply didn’t interest Jim. He’d never been a religious man and, if not for Blair, would have been perfectly happy to live out his life in Cascade. Now, his only priority was Blair. And if that meant believing in one god instead of four, or following some eons old prophecy to a place he wasn’t even sure existed, then so be it.

He released Blair reluctantly. “They’ll be here in a couple of minutes. Better get some clothes on.”

***

Simon, Blair decided, was a good man. Gruff and bluntly spoken, but good at heart, and clearly a close friend of Jim’s. That alone was enough to make Blair inclined to like him.

He lagged behind as Simon and Joel inspected the Ark – one of the smaller ones, but big enough to hold at least fifty people – and Joel explained details of its construction that Blair already knew very well. He’d had five days, after all, with nothing to do except miss Jim and try to meditate. Jim stayed close, stealing every possible chance to touch him – a hand on his arm, his shoulder, his waist. Blair was pretty sure it was unconscious, just as his instinct to lean into those touches was almost overpowering. Five days was a long time for them to be apart at such an early stage of their bonding.

“How long has this been going on?” Jim’s gesture encompassed the cavern, the Ark, the tiny, prefabricated hut that had been his home since Blair had come down here. “How did you get all this stuff down here without anyone knowing about it?”

“We started construction after that first prophecy, thirty five years ago. Even before that, we’d been smuggling equipment and materials into the caverns, we just didn’t know what the purpose of it was.” Blair smiled at Jim’s incredulous expression. “There’s six underground caverns, all with Arks, some much bigger than this one. Enough to house five hundred people.”

“Five hundred?” Jim blinked, his face betraying shock. “You said maybe four hundred. Even with the guards…”

“We didn’t know how long the journey might take. It could have been years. Still could.” Blair shrugged. “We don’t really know. The slowest of the Arks should be able to cover three hundred kilometres in a day, but that’s on level ground and at top speed. We may have to detour, or go more slowly if the terrain is difficult. Besides, we won’t be able to push them to the maximum for the entire journey.”

“Three hundred… that’s faster than I would have expected.” Jim turned to stare at the Ark, its large blockish body and heavy mechanical treads, clearly not built for speed. “How many hours a day travel are you basing that on?”

Blair grinned. “Twenty four. The solar arrays will capture enough energy during daylight to power the Ark through the night. With three teams of navigators, there’ll always be someone driving.”

“It could work then.”

Jim didn’t bother to hide his surprise, and Blair laughed. “It  _will_  work. But, come with me, Jim, there’s something else I want to show you.”

He led the way down a narrow crevice in the rock, pausing to pick up a blanket from the hut first, and ignoring Jim’s curious look. There was only the dimmest of light to allow them to see where they were going. “I found this the first day. Have you ever been Outside, Jim?”

“No. Why would I?” Jim’s voice betrayed his impatience. “Going Outside is a death sentence.”

“Not always.” Blair reached behind him and tugged at Jim’s shirtsleeve. “It’s true nobody can survive Outside, unprotected, for more than a few hours, but we don’t need that long.”

Ahead, the light was growing stronger, and when they turned a sharp corner, it flooded the tunnel; hot, vivid reddish yellow light unlike anything Blair had experienced before five days ago. Another dozen paces and they were standing in the mouth of the narrow tunnel looking out over a vast expanse of dried, parched earth with only rocks and the occasional scrubby plant to break its barrenness.

Outside. It took his breath away, almost literally. Blair heard Jim’s sharp intake of breath and the immediate reaction to such dry, heated air – a fit of harsh coughing. “Take shallow breaths through your nose and try to relax, Jim.” He turned, drawing Jim into his arms and pulling his face down into the angle of his throat and shoulder, where the moisture of his breath would be better preserved. After a moment the coughing eased and Jim straightened again but didn’t release him.

“Look, Jim.” Blair pointed to the horizon, where the sun was setting in a brilliant display of gold and red streaked with purple. Already the sky was darkening in the east and the first few stars were visible. A small breeze wafted around them, still warm from the day’s heat, but Blair knew it would rapidly chill. The land didn’t hold any warmth for long. “This is what we’ve lost. Isn’t it beautiful?”

“It’s… impressive.” Jim admitted, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Can we go back now?”

“You don’t like it?” Blair tried to keep the disappointment he felt out of his voice.

“It’s just… big.” Jim was determinedly not looking outwards, but at Blair’s face. “I’m just not used to so much space.”

Reassured, Blair smiled. “Come over here.” He led the way to a small outcropping of rock and laid the blanket down. Once they sat, they were sheltered from the wind and much of the view. But thing he really wanted Jim to see would still be visible. “Lie down, Jim. We’ve got a little time.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” Jim leaned towards him, lips parting in anticipation, and who was Blair to resist that temptation?

For a while they were too intent on each other to notice the passing of time, but a chill trickle down Blair’s spine distracted him and he sat up, tilting his face to stare up at the sky. The sunlight had faded almost to nothing now, and he could make out the harsh white pinpricks of the stars. “Look up, Jim,” he breathed, awestruck as he had been every other night since he’d found his way Outside.

After a moment, Blair sank down onto his side, watching Jim. It was dark enough to wash all colour out of his vision and the cold light made an austere, beautiful mask of Jim’s face as he stared up in wonder. Jim would be able to see far, far more than he could and he couldn’t help wondering, not for the first time, what it would be like to have Jim’s sensory awareness.

He slipped his hand inside Jim’s open shirt, stroking lightly over smooth skin. He’d learnt very early that Jim could get too focused on one sense and lose himself in it. By engaging another sense, Blair could usually prevent that happening. And, he thought with a grin, it was certainly no hardship to indulge  _his_  senses where Jim was concerned. His fingertip brushed against the pebbled skin of Jim’s nipple and he lingered there, rubbing and teasing gently, aware of Jim’s faster breathing, the sudden acceleration of his heartbeat.

After a while, Blair pushed the shirt open a little more and applied his mouth to the task, allowing his hands to roam further. Jim made a contented sound and lifted one hand to tangle in Blair’s hair. Gradually, their clothing was discarded as Jim’s attention strayed from the wonders of the night sky to the pleasures of Blair’s hands and mouth on his body.

It was chilly now, but only enough to stimulate their senses. In another hour it would be a different matter.

“Jim,” Blair whispered. He moved over Jim’s body, their cocks blazing heat enough between them to replace the sun twice over. “Jim, I’m ready… if you want…”

Immediately, Jim tensed, his languid movements stopping entirely. He lifted Blair’s head away from his chest and stared into his face for a moment. Then he inhaled sharply, his head tilting in the way it did when he was listening intently. “No, Blair. You’re not.”

Damn. Blair sighed, his head drooping a little, knowing his heart was beating too fast and that even he could smell the nervous sweat springing out over his chilling body. “Okay, so maybe not _exactly_  ready, but… if we don’t do it soon… there’ll be little privacy on the Ark. Not enough for  _that_. Not for our first time.”

He was trembling, but it was just the cold, he told himself. Not anything else.

“Then we’ll wait.” Jim’s voice was gently inflexible; taking the decision out of Blair’s hands entirely.

He ought to resent it, but Blair felt a traitorous sense of relief. He trusted Jim. Really, he did. But… He slumped down across Jim’s body and relaxed slowly into his embrace, his breathing unsteady.

“You don’t have to prove anything, Chief.” Jim’s voice was as soft as the hands caressing Blair’s back. “What we have is good, isn’t it?”

Since Jim seemed to need to hear an answer that should be obvious, Blair smiled against his chest. “It’s fantastic, Jim. I love it. I love  _you_. It’s just… we don’t know how long we’ll have to wait and I… I didn’t want you to have to wait.”

“How long did you wait for me?” Jim slid a hand between their bodies and wrapped his fingers around their cocks, trapping them in the heat of his palm. “How long, Blair?”

Months. Years. All his life… Blair groaned, shivering with the pleasure of it as Jim’s hand moved between them. His hips tried to thrust but Jim’s grip was too tight, and the pulse beat of his cock too insistent against Blair’s. He kissed Jim messily, hungrily, thrusting his tongue into Jim’s mouth until Jim shuddered and his grip loosened a little. Then they both moved, thrusting urgently against each other, desperate in their need for release. Five days was far too long and, after tonight, it would be many more long, dreary days before they saw each other again.

Release came with a sharp, almost painful intensity, and Blair cried out, disappointed that he wasn’t able to make it last longer, even while Jim followed him down. He shuddered in Jim’s arms, partly from the cold, partly from a tangle of conflicting emotions.

Soon, they’d have to go inside. The night would rapidly become bitterly cold, but for now… for now, they could bask a little. Blair’s questing hand found a fold of blanket and dragged the cloth, still slightly warm from the ground beneath, across their bodies.

***

Their greatest fear – that the Tirran’s guards would overtake them and end the journey even before it truly started – proved groundless. They’d taken all the precautions they could – leaving the three slowest Arks almost empty and crowding everyone they could into the five fastest – and pushed all of them to their limits. By sunrise of the first day, Cascade was just a smudge on the horizon, but the question remained: would they be pursued and would the pursuit be fast enough to overtake them?

At dawn the Arks halted long enough for Jim and Blair to climb on top of the highest to search the horizon. Their instruments told them they’d covered one hundred twenty klicks, but probably no more than one hundred in a straight line. It had been more difficult to negotiate the terrain than they’d expected.

The ground pursuit vehicles had a range of around eighty klicks, so there was no risk of capture, but the hovers had a longer range, and they were armed. A few, well placed shots could cripple the Arks and, with nowhere to escape to, they would all die. Blair tried not to jitter impatiently. “Well?”

“Nothing.” Jim smiled, his shoulder losing some of its tension beneath Blair’s clutching fingers. “If they haven’t caught us now, I don’t think they’re going to.”

“We did it!” Almost light-headed with relief, Blair grinned jubilantly. “I guess the pursuit vehicles weren’t fast enough to overtake the lead we had.”

“Either that, or the Tirran’s propaganda worked too well.” Jim said dryly. “A lot of the guards hated having to go Outside, even for just a few klicks. They were convinced their vehicles would break down and they’d die within minutes. Maybe they just weren’t willing to follow us so far.”

Blair turned to look at the horizon, but that was one question he was never likely to find an answer to. He turned back, looping his arms around Jim’s neck and kissed him thoroughly, and then they climbed back down to share the good news with the others.

***

“So this is what the ocean looks like.” Jim tried not to shudder. As far as he could see was water; murky, blue-green and flat. So much water, and none of it drinkable. He turned away, and caught sight of Blair’s rapt face.

“Isn’t it amazing?” Blair grinned at him. “Once there were huge ships that crossed the oceans. If only we could convert the Arks into ships, we could reach the Green Land in weeks instead of months. Just imagine what we might see – there used to be huge creatures living in the oceans. Perhaps they still do.”

All around them, people were thronging to see the miraculous sight of open water. More water than anyone could possibly have imagined. A few brave souls had ventured down to the place where ocean and land met, to touch the water, even to drink it, though those who did quickly spat it out with a grimace of displeasure.

Blair had said there was a way to remove the salt from the water and make it drinkable, but it required huge tanks and more energy than their solar powered Arks could produce. If there were cities on the coast, they might survive, even flourish, this way. The thought of having such an enormous – maybe unlimited – source of water was more than Jim could imagine. And these cities, if they existed, would jealously guard their territory.

“We should get moving,” Jim growled, his unease growing with every moment. They’d be following the coastline for most of their journey. He’d agreed to it in principle, but now he was having second thoughts. Something about that vast expanse unsettled him as not even the broad, dusty lands of Outside had ever done.

But Blair was staring at him as though he’d grown a second head. “You don’t want to go down there?” He gestured towards the water.

Jim scowled. “We’re wasting time.”

Blair laughed, carefree as a child, and ran down the gentle slope towards the ocean. And then kept running into the water until it reached his knees, and flung himself forward. For a heart-stopping moment, he disappeared completely amidst the spray his headlong dive had splashed up; then he rose up again with a whoop of joy.

Others joined him then, and the shallows filled with adults and children splashing and kicking water at each other, though few were brave – or foolish – enough to immerse themselves as Blair had.

Jim sat on a rock a metre or so from the water’s edge and didn’t breathe freely until Blair came and flung himself down on the sand beside him.

***

_“Who knows how long it took us to travel here from Cascade?” Blair asks, and a few hands shoot into the air. The older children know, but allow the youngers to answer. The youngest don’t know, being too young to remember since the last time they heard the story. Xandi raises his hand, albeit with a certain hesitation, for the first time._

_“Connor?” Blair smiles at Megan and Rafe’s son; he’s six years old, and already growing into his parents’ height._

_Connor’s chest puffs out with pride. “Seven months, three weeks.” He hesitates, then adds, conscientiously, “and two days.”_

_Blair leads the applause, grinning delightedly, and Connor beams._

***

The gentle thrum of the engine had become a constant in all their lives. Over seven months now, and the only time it ceased was when the Arks stopped for routine maintenance. The engine was still running, but the almost subliminal sense of movement had stopped, and it woke Blair almost immediately.

He blinked, confused by the sense of something lacking, until he isolated the cause. Beside him, Jim was pulling a shirt over his head. “Jim? What’s going on?”

“I can’t hear anything wrong.” Jim shoved his feet into sturdy boots. He’d need them if he had to go outside. “I’ll be back soon.”

“Just give me a couple minutes…” But Jim had already left the tiny cubicle that afforded them the only privacy available. Blair located his clothes and dragged them on, his hands trembling with urgency. In less than the two-minute deadline, he launched himself out of the cubicle and trotted down the internal hallway to the control centre located at the front of the Ark, fastening his shirt as he went.

Could they actually have arrived? They were close, he knew, both from the information on Joel’s maps and Jim’s insistence. For the past three days, Jim had directed them, following some instinct that Blair didn’t understand but trusted implicitly.

When he got to the control centre, it was easy enough to see why they’d stopped.

Trees.

Real, actual trees, thinly spaced but not thinly enough for the Arks to go through, and too large to be crushed under the treads.

But… trees. Blair stared at them in wonder, his mouth open. He’d seen the jungle on Joel’s map, but to see it for real… nobody in Cascade within living memory had seen a real tree, and here there were hundreds, thousands, stretching out as far as he could see ahead and on either side, a living barrier between the Arks and their destination. They’d expected there to be some trees still remaining, even after countless centuries, but not this immense forest. He exchanged a worried look with Jim.

“We’ll have to investigate. On foot.” Jim’s lips closed in a thin line of frustration. “Call up the council. We should discuss this first.”

Since there was no realistic alternative, it didn’t take long for the council to agree with Jim’s assessment. Preparing for a journey of unknown duration, through terrain that was equally unknown, took a lot longer. The situation wasn’t helped by the fact that Jim, once he’d gone Outside with Blair to carry out a preliminary assessment, had become restless and short tempered, dismissive of possible dangers.

“I don’t like this.” Simon grabbed hold of Blair’s arm. “What is  _wrong_  with him?”

He’s… he’s just… I don’t know, Simon. It’s like he’s acting on pure instinct.” Blair swallowed down his own concerns, afraid that Simon might try to veto the expedition. “It’ll be fine. There are five of us going, and I’ll keep a close watch on him. Don’t worry about it, okay?”

Simon looked unconvinced, but it wasn’t as if they had any choice. Jim was the only person who had any hope of leading them to their destination. He and Megan, Rafe, and Henri were just along for the ride.

***

It took some time for Blair to stop wanting to touch every tree he passed. It wasn’t just that there were so many of them, there were all different kinds of trees, large ones, small ones; _gigantic_  ones, as they got further in. Soon they were in a dim, green-lit jungle where it was difficult to see more than a few metres ahead, and while part of Blair was wondering at the marvel of so many living things – and not just plants, as he discovered when a small, brilliantly coloured scaly thing fled up a vine at their approach – and all of them  _Outside_ … there was another, more practical part that considered the logistics of clearing the way for the Arks. That part was very, very unhappy.

Several hours passed and they were making slow progress now, following an almost invisible path, slipping between huge tree trunks and tripping over low vegetation. Jim seemed to have no problem knowing where to go, which was just as well, because they’d lost contact with the Arks a while ago. Out of range, or maybe just the mass of trees was interfering with their comms. They weren’t exactly designed with these conditions in mind.

And it was, Blair realised in dismay, growing darker. Jim showed no sign of wanting to stop, but he and the others wouldn’t have the advantage of Jim’s sentinel abilities. He lengthened his stride to reach Jim and grab hold of his arm.

“We need to find somewhere to stop for the night, Jim.” He hesitated, unnerved by the blank stare Jim turned on him. “We won’t be able to see where we’re going soon. We have to stop.”

Jim’s lips tightened but he nodded. There’d been a few breaks in the jungle; small, but big enough for an overnight stop. Blair could only hope they’d find another one soon.

They did, eventually, find a place to stop, thought it was almost pitch dark by that time. Blair flopped down onto the ground with a sigh of relief and reached for his water flask. They’d been careful; conserving water was instinctive to all of them, and even more so now. Luckily, under the trees, the heat was far less of a problem, almost like being under a city dome. The air was more humid too. The flask was a lot less than half empty. He wondered what would happen when they reached that point. Judging by the way Jim was behaving, it wouldn’t be easy to convince him to turn back.

Blair sighed and decided not to think about it until it became necessary. They didn’t talk much, all of them except Jim being too exhausted by the day’s exertions. Jim simply sat, slightly apart, staring into the jungle while the others ate their protein rations and took tiny, cautious sips of water.

“Is he all right?” Megan’s quiet voice interrupted Blair’s preoccupation with the same question.

He looked at her and shrugged helplessly, then went over to sit beside Jim. Tactfully, the others began settling down to sleep. “What is it, Jim? What’re you sensing?”

“I don’t know.” Just the fact that Jim was answering him was a pleasant surprise. He’d hardly responded to Blair all day. “There’s something out there, something that’s calling to me.” He shrugged, irritably. “It’s not anything I can hear or smell. It’s more like…” he shrugged again, “like something under my skin, crawling, itching…”

“Well…” more disturbed than reassured, Blair tried to think of some kind of response. “Look, why don’t we get some sleep? Maybe tomorrow we’ll find whatever it is.”

“It’s close.” Impatience tinged Jim’s voice. “It’s so close now.”

Blair slid his arm around Jim’s shoulders, drawing him down to lie on the ground. “You need to rest, Jim. We both do. In the morning we’ll keep looking.”

He fell asleep with Jim pressed against his back, and woke alone.

***

“Maybe he’ll be back soon.” Megan’s suggestion was meant to be reassuring, Blair thought, but the sharpness of her tone betrayed her alarm. “Blair, he didn’t say…”

“No. He didn’t say anything.” Blair stood, staring into the trees on the side of the clearing that Jim must have left from, as if he could somehow sense where he’d gone. As if he had Jim’s senses.

Megan, Rafe and Henri started talking quietly, trying to decide what to do now, Blair supposed. He could have listened in, if he’d tried, but he didn’t. Since they’d left Cascade he and Jim had never been apart for more than a few hours. And never this far apart – he could feel the distance between them, the bond stretched thin.

He could feel it…

“I can find him.” He turned back to his companions. “I know how to find him, using our bond.”

They looked at him, their expressions doubtful. “Blair, are you sure? It seems…” Megan hesitated. She knew, better than the men, how powerful the bond was between him and Jim.

“We should go back.” Rafe offered. “Get help. We don’t know if we can catch up with Jim, even if you  _can_  follow him”

“No.” Blair felt more certain with every passing moment, “he’ll only get further ahead of us. He’s going somewhere, and when he gets there he’ll stop. I  _know_  I can find him.”

“And what happens then, Blair?” It was Henri, now, looking apologetic but determined. “He’s just gone off and left us. He might not want us there.”

“He’ll want me.” But Henri had a point. “I’ll go alone. Do you think you can find your way back to the Arks?”

Henri nodded and Rafe held up a tiny laser pen. “I’ve been marking the way. We’ll travel faster, knowing where we’re going.”

“Okay.” Blair shouldered his light pack, feeling hopeful. They had a plan, and he was going to find Jim. And Jim wasn’t going to get away from him, if he had to tie them both together. “Leave that with me, and I’ll keep marking as I go.”

“I’m staying with you.” Megan glared at him, obviously determined not to allow any other outcome.

“Megan…” he hesitated, then changed his mind. “All right, maybe it’s a good idea. We shouldn’t have anyone going off on their own” Like Jim had. None of them said it though. “We’d better get moving before he gets any further away.”

***

By sunrise Jim had already covered a lot of ground in a steady lope that he could maintain almost indefinitely. Even after the sun rose higher in the sky, the heat wasn’t unbearable under the trees and the humidity of the air mean that the moisture wasn’t sucked out of his skin the way it would have been under the bare sky.

He could feel Blair’s anxiety, and knew his lover was following, though not as quickly. It didn’t matter. He hadn’t wanted to get away from Blair, or even the others; he’d just wanted to find whatever it was that had disturbed his senses and to ease that nagging, pulling sensation in his chest.

When he came across the statue, Jim knew he was close. He stared, awed, at the carved stone creature, knowing it was a sign. How else to explain its resemblance to the wildcat that he’d seen in the house where he’d found Blair? The pyramid, the lush jungle, and now this… he was close to his goal, very close. But he took the time to touch his fingertips to the cool, smooth stone and the wet spongy stuff that grew in patches on its surface. Then he made his way past it, following the faintest of paths for a dozen more paces until he saw the great stone steps rising into the trees.

There were scents in the air he didn’t recognise, though he’d already become accustomed to the earthy dankness of the jungle. These scents were musky, rank, not like the plant scents, or the must of the earth, not at all. He wondered if it could be an animal, and almost immediately he heard the drub of a heartbeat faster, more erratic than his own. Perhaps it  _was_  an animal, although they’d seen few enough of them on the journey. Nobody in Cascade had ever seen a live animal, not even domesticated ones; they simply hadn’t the resources to support them. Animals were the stuff of legends, seen only on ancient holos. Of course, animals could be dangerous. If it were anything like the wildcat, with sharp pointed teeth and long, curving claws, then he would need to be cautious.

He stared up at the stairs a moment longer, his jaw slack, then he swallowed and started to climb. It was more difficult that he’d expected. The stone was  _old_ , older than anything he’d ever seen, and crumbling in places. Almost at the top there was a small platform with a carved panel showing the wildcat from the statue as well as others. Jim studied it carefully; there was no easy way past this point and though he was capable of levering himself up to the ledge above the panel and continuing, he couldn’t help suspecting that he was supposed to find something here. There must have been a reason for the panel to be here.

It only took him a moment to find the faint outline of an eye within a triangle – the last piece of the puzzle. He pressed against the sigil and immediately the panel slid open with a faint sound of stone scraping against stone. It revealed a dark interior that even Jim’s eyesight found difficult to penetrate. Along with a dank, damp odour, the scent that he’d followed here came stronger, sharper.  _Something_  was inside. As he hesitated, he felt a small stinging sensation on the side of his neck. He lifted a hand and found a small dart, the point barely puncturing his skin. He pulled it free, and that was the last thing he remembered.

***

_At this point in the story, Blair has lately got into the habit of glancing in Lexi’s direction. She’s nearly twelve now, and growing tall and leggy, with blonde hair and light blue eyes that are only the most visible legacy of her parentage. Today she is leaning against Jim’s shoulder, her face solemn but not troubled. She knows the story well, they all do; but now she’s reaching the age where she is likely to see certain aspects of it in a new light._

_They love her, both of them – their first child and a treasure for their whole community – but there’s no denying the anxiety that she has caused them over the years. Not her fault, not at all, but there nonetheless._

_As if sensing his concern – and she probably_ does _sense it, just as Jim would – Lexi smiles at Blair. “Poppa, tell us how Daddy met my mama.”_

_Feeling, as he always does, as though he’s about to step into a minefield, Blair takes a deep breath and begins: “This is what your father told me about Lexi’s mama…”_

***

He woke deaf, blind, and unable to move. For the longest few seconds of Jim’s life, he thought that he’d fallen into one of the fugue states that had plagued him before he met Blair, until he remembered the dart – he’d been drugged, and now he was awake. He was blind because he couldn’t open his eyes. He was deaf because something was filling his ears; if he concentrated he could feel it – some kind of liquid, he thought, vaguely. But he could still smell… some dark, musty odour, like the forest outside, but older.

The compulsion that had driven him to leave Blair behind was still there, though muted now. He’d found the place, but there was something missing. He cursed in silent frustration at being trapped here, within reach of whatever was calling to him, but unable to do anything but breathe.

Some unfathomable time later, Jim realised his body was coming back to life. It started with a tingling sensation in his extremities. Relief coursed through his veins and brought a burst of strength to his muscles. Just a twitch of his fingers rewarded him, but it was enough. Whatever had trapped him here would eventually wear off and he’d be free again. Resolutely, he focused his consciousness inwards, as Blair had taught him to do, and concentrated on cleansing the drug out of his system.

Slowly, control of his body came back to him. First, he managed to open his eyes. He was in a dark room, but once Jim focused his sight, some details were visible – a dark, rough surface – stone, perhaps, considering where he was – with a strange, flickering luminescence on the ceiling. It took some time for Jim to realise that the rippling motion was due to light reflecting off water; he was lying in water in some kind of pool… god, what kind of place had water in  _that_  quantity just lying around? It was unimaginable.

Now, he could lift his hand a little, turn his head slightly. He fought down a sense of urgency; whoever put him in here could come back at any moment, but the more he worried about that, the less energy he had to concentrate on recovering his mobility.

When a woman’s face appeared above him, Jim almost panicked. She was pale – hair, eyes, skin, as though she had been living in the dark a long time. Jim realised that she must have been in another of the pools; her clothing was soaked and clinging to her body. Her lips were moving, but he couldn’t hear anything until, with an impatient gesture, she slid her hand under his head and lifted it so his ears were clear of the water.

“…knew you’d come. You had to. And once I’ve shown you what you can become, we’ll be together, like the spirits promised.”

“I don… don’t understand.” His voice sounded slurred, his tongue felt thick and ungainly in his mouth. “Who are you?” There was one thing he knew about her, though. Whatever compulsion had brought him here,  _she_  was the focus of it. He could feel it in the energy coursing through him from the touch of her hand, in the cloying scent of her body.

“I’m you.” She laughed, a little wildly. “You’re me.” And when he stared at her blankly, her face creased in annoyance and she said, in a voice that an impatient teacher might use to a particularly slow-witted student: “We’re alike, you and I. Sentinels. We have the same powers. When we come together, you’ll see. But first I need to unite our vision, so we can be one.”

Her words made no sense to Jim, but she smiled. “You’ll see.” She picked up a small container and held it to his lips, spilling a foul tasting liquid into his mouth. He tried to clamp his lips shut, but his jaw had no strength and she easily pried his mouth open. She was talking again, but he could no longer hear her.

The effect of the drug came on him slowly. He could feel the insidious tendrils of insanity probing his mind, seeking out nightmares, old and new. Things that had happened and things that – god willing – never would. He was lost in visions of lush trees and strange animals, the black wildcat and the pyramid of Blair’s mural. Fire exploded around him and he screamed, at least inside his nightmare. Whether he truly made any sound he couldn’t tell. Finally, he saw Blair’s face, calm and meditative, and he caught hold of that image, refusing to be distracted by the mayhem of his vision. Slowly, slowly, the dream faded.

He could move again. How long it had been, Jim had no way of knowing. He pushed himself carefully into a sitting position and looked around the room. There was another pool beside his, and the woman was lying in it. He felt that same, strange tugging sensation, in spite of his anger at the way she’d treated him. And he realised that whatever drug she’d given him had affected his senses. They were far more acute than they’d ever been, and yet he had no difficulty in controlling them.

As if she could feel his gaze on her, the woman opened her eyes. She sat up abruptly, one hand resting on the edge of the pool, then with a single, lithe movement was standing beside it. Up close, the compulsion was even greater and Jim felt himself moving towards her until their bodies were almost touching. Her eyes scanned his face, and after a moment she smiled “Yes…”

He kissed her, his body roused from dull need to incendiary desire in the instant between two heartbeats, and she responded with a fervour that made his own seem pale in comparison. Their clothes hurriedly discarded, they sank down onto the damp stone floor, oblivious to their surroundings. Under his hands, her skin felt like the finest, most luxurious fabric and the dank, slick sheen of water couldn’t hide the intoxicating taste of her body. Through the madness that followed, Jim took no thought of Blair, no thought of anything.

***

It was like waking from a nightmare. The woman, her name still unknown, lay beside him, her eyes closed and a small, secretive smile on her lips. Jim looked down at her and felt nothing; the madness that had enthralled him was gone. She was just a woman; a beautiful and mysterious woman, undoubtedly, but all Jim could think about was how he was going to explain this to Blair. He couldn’t even explain it to himself.

He snatched up his clothes, still damp, and struggled into them. He had to find Blair. Then they could try to unravel the puzzle of who this woman was and how she’d come there, apparently alone. Or, perhaps he should wake her, and take her with him.

As he hesitated, she woke of her own accord and smiled up at him, unselfconscious about her nudity. Jim crouched beside her. “Hi.”

Her smile widened and she sat up, winding her arms around his neck and leaning into him. “You see with me, now. Our vision is united.” Her lips brushed the corner of his mouth.

“No.” Gently, Jim pushed her away. “No, I’m sorry.”

“But you have to… we were one.” Anger sparked in her eyes. “We were united in our vision.”

Maybe a distraction was needed; there was more than a hint of madness in her voice. Jim forced a smile. “What’s your name?”

“Alex.” She pouted sulkily.

“Mine’s Jim. How long have you been here?”

A shrug. “A long time.” She gestured around the stone walled room. “I’ve read what the ancestors left here. I found the herbs and made the potion, just like the writings said. They told me you would come.”

Jim shook his head. “I don’t think I’m the one you’ve been waiting for, but there are others with me. Maybe one of them-”

“No!” She grabbed at his wrists. “No, it’s you. It has to be you. You’re the one.”

There was the strength of madness in her grip. Jim fought the urge to struggle; he’d get free, no doubt of that, but he didn’t want to escalate the situation if he could avoid it. “Well, I don’t know. Maybe I am… but I’ve got friends and I need to go back to them. Will you come with me?”

“No! Stay here.” Her head whipped around searching for something Jim couldn’t see. “You need to have more of the potion. You’ll see more clearly if-”

He broke her grasp, though not easily, and stood. “Maybe later. Come with me Alex. Let me help you.”

But she turned her face away stubbornly and didn’t answer.

***

Jim’s reappearance, after so many hours, should have brought relief, but Blair found himself wondering what had happened to the man he’d thought he knew. He’d told them about the strange woman living in the lower chambers of the pyramid – and how incredible did it seem that this ancient structure was not only still standing after countless centuries, but apparently capable of being used as a home – and how she’d drugged him, once with a paralytic and then later with a hallucinogen. It was probably that which had so badly unsettled Jim; there might still be lingering traces in his system, and Blair kept a close watch on him as he guided them back to the pyramid.

As it turned out, they hadn’t very far to go. Following his instincts, Blair had come within less than an hour’s walk from their destination.

When they entered the clearing, Blair’s breath caught in surprise and he heard Megan gasp too. The pyramid seemed huge – rearing up amid trees twice its height and partly covered with creepers and damp, greep growth. He followed Jim up the steps and into a low opening at the top. More steps led them down into a huge cavern – below ground level, Blair was almost certain – and from there through a labyrinth of hallways to the room Jim had described.

The woman was lying in one of the pools, eyes closed. Blair could barely make her out in the dimness.

“Alex.” Jim went over to the pool and carefully tapped her cheek. Her eyes opened, fixing onto Jim’s face. He helped her to sit up and she smiled, but in a way that sent shivers down Blair’s spine.

“I can feel the vibrations of the earth itself.” Her voice was strained, urgent. “I can hear the clouds moving in the sky. I can see the molecules in a drop of water. I want to share this with you.”

“Alex, we can help you.” Jim put an arm around her, encouraging her to get out of the pool. “Whatever it is you see-”

“You need to see it too.” All her attention was on Jim. Blair wasn’t even sure if she was aware of him and Megan standing there. “We have to unite our vision.”

“Yes. It’s okay, Alex.” Jim held out a hand to her. “Give me your hand. Come on.”

She turned into his arm, lifting her mouth to his and he kissed her, ignoring Blair’s shocked gasp. But then she pulled away, screaming, her hands lifting to her face. She stumbled, her legs folding under her and Jim leaned down, trying to guide her collapse. The screams turned to moans and then whimpers until, within a matter of minutes, there was only silence.

***

“She’s like me.” Jim’s voice drifted forward from behind Blair. They’d rigged up a stretcher to carry the woman – Alex – and he, Jim, and Megan were taking turns to carry it back to the Arks. Hopefully, somewhere along the way, they’d meet up with Henri and Rafe and whoever they’d brought with them. In the meantime, there was nothing they could do but struggle on in the heat and humidity. Leaving Alex behind wasn’t an option any of them could contemplate. “Her senses are like mine. She said… she said we were ‘sentinels’. And she had dreams, Blair. She was waiting for me to arrive. God only knows how long she’d been there.”

He didn’t know what to say to that. He was still shocked by the way Alex had kissed Jim. The way he’d let her do it. None of his visions or meditations had prepared him for this. He needed to talk to Joel, and to Jim too; but not now, not with Megan right beside them.

He heard Jim sigh. “Do you think it was the drug that made her crazy, or the isolation? Or maybe it was having the senses that made her mad.”

“I don’t know, Jim.” Blair swallowed, his throat painfully tight. He desperately wanted to reassure Jim, but he couldn’t. “Maybe if we can figure out what’s in the potion… what it does…” It wasn’t any kind of an answer, but it was all he had to offer.

Another uncomfortable silence fell between them, unbroken until they met up with the small party that Henri had brought back from the Arks. Even then, they walked mostly in silence, and when they made camp, slept an uneasy few inches apart.

They reached the Arks late the following morning, and handed Alex’s care over to the waiting medics. They’d been forewarned as soon as the party had come within comms range, and carefully lifted her onto a portable biobed before whisking her into the largest and best equipped of the Arks. Blair watched them go with a sense of mingled relief and apprehension. He saw the same confusion of emotions on Jim’s face and it didn’t reassure him.

“Jim, we need to talk.” He gestured Jim over to the shade of a tree. The novelty of seeing trees had worn thin by now, and he barely gave it a second glance. “What happened back there?”

It took a moment for Jim to respond. Blair saw with a sinking heart that he was staring down at the ground, his jaw muscle bunching in a sure sign of distress. It reminded him of those first, difficult days when neither of them had been able to entirely put aside the events of the night they’d met.

“I don’t  _know_  what happened.” Jim turned his face away. Apparently, staring at the ground wasn’t sufficient avoidance, and Blair felt his heart thud unevenly against his ribs. “But it was her… that compulsion I felt. Something was leading me to her. I couldn’t control…”

“You had sex with her.” Blair said flatly, and Jim nodded once, his jaw tightening visibly. The silence that fell between them was impossibly sharp, like razors against his skin. He walked away, unable to find any words to deal with this revelation, and Jim let him go.

***

Days passed and still Blair said nothing. Jim thought about forcing the issue, but the necessities of preparing the way for the Arks took every spare moment of everybody’s time. The sheer, physical labour of clearing a path through the jungle left them all exhausted, and even when they weren’t outside, there were meetings, discussions, and sometimes Blair’s, and even Joel’s patience ran thin.

There was water here, obviously, in an undreamed of abundance; but none of it seemed to be on the surface. If they were to live here, they would need access to water, to grow food, if nothing else. With careful recycling, the Arks could at least supply them with all the water they needed for personal use. Slowly, the committee formed their plans: Jim would scout for water sources, and whatever site he chose would be the location of their new home. In addition, their best techs would go to the pyramid to find out what resources it had to offer.

In the meantime, the work of clearing trees continued. There was no possibility of getting any of the Arks all the way to the pyramid, and the largest of them would have to be left far behind, while the three smaller ones could probably be taken to within a few kilometres. Once a clear path was established, it would be easy enough to travel between them so their resources – like the med centres – were still available.

Then, a message came from the party of techs investigating the pyramid with news that changed everything.

It took Blair half a day, following the newly cut path, to reach the pyramid. Jim had already arrived and was waiting for him at the entrance. He nodded a silent, awkward welcome and Blair followed him inside, down the dark passages to a small room.

“There’s a panel, just here.” Jim guided Blair’s hand to a small, slick patch on the stone wall, just below shoulder height. His fingers pressed Blair’s against the panel and with a sighing sound the wall immediately in front of them began to move aside to reveal a dim glow of light and a corridor formed of some pale manufactured substance.

Jim skimmed his fingers over the surface as they entered; it felt like plastic, but the sound when he tapped it lightly was metallic. He led the way and, as they walked, the light slowly grew brighter. Every few metres, there were small panels set into the walls; Jim guessed they were door controls, but he couldn’t see any sign of the doors. He touched one in passing and a section of the wall slid aside revealing an empty room. For a moment he was tempted to stay and investigate, but they had other priorities.

They walked on, the silence almost painful. Blair cleared his throat. “Do you know-”

“Only what I’ve been told, like you.” Jim’s voice betrayed his discomfort. The distance between them seemed unbridgeable. “They told me where to find the entry.”

“This isn’t… I mean, this couldn’t have been built by the people who built the pyramid.”

Jim glanced down at him, meeting Blair’s eyes with a peculiar sense of reluctance. “No. I don’t think so.”

They’d passed a couple of side corridors, but now they came to a T-junction. Jim, having received directions, unhesitatingly took the left branch. “We’re close to the control room now. Maybe they’ll have some answers for us.” He could hear voices now, faintly, and unconsciously began to walk faster.

Blair hurried to keep up with him. “Who’s in there?”

“Anson and Grazia.” Their two best technical people. “Will’s exploring the rest of the… whatever this is.”

Ahead of them was an open door leading into a large room. If this was the control room, it didn’t look much like one. There were a few tables and something that looked like it might be a vid screen. At the far end of the room, Anson and Grazia were doing something at another table, muttering earnestly.

At Blair’s greeting, they both looked up with excited grins, and Grazia called out:

“Jim, Blair… you’ve got great timing. We’re just about to try something.”

“If it works…” Anson cautioned. They both turned back to the table, which seemed to have some kind of control interface on it, though one that was far more advanced than anything Jim had ever seen. Anson touched a shaded area that lit briefly with a bluish-green glow. Above the table a holo appeared, just a column of the same bluish-green. “Hello. If you hear this please respond.”

“Anson? Are you on your way back, man?” The woman’s voice, clear as if the speaker was in the room with them, was not one that Jim recognised. “What happened?”

Both techs were almost vibrating in their excitement. “Jess? No, we’re in the control room at the pyramid. We’ve got the comms working and tuned into your frequency.”

“That’s… that’s fantastic!” Other voices in the background almost drowned out Jess’ voice. “Hey, quiet please!” The sound level dropped a little. “Can you get any of the personal comms? Try Simon’s. He’s only just within our range. If you can reach him, you should be able to get  _any_  personal comm.”

Grazia was already doing something on the tabletop display, and a moment later Simon’s voice barked: “Banks. What is it?”

“Simon.” Jim leaned forward, shouldering aside Anson and Grazia. “I’m at the pyramid, in the underground complex, and we’ve got the comms frequencies matched.”

“Huh.” Simon didn’t sound as pleased as he would have expected. “So I’ve walked all this way for nothing? I need you and Blair back at the Arks, ASAP.”

What could have happened to make Simon come after them? Something, obviously, that he didn’t want to entrust to a messenger. “What’s happened?”

Simon ignored his question. “Are the techs there?”

“Anson and Grazia, Simon.” Grazia glanced apologetically at the two of them. “Will is still checking out the rest of the complex.”

“Well done, both of you.” Simon’s gruff voice warmed a little, then sharpened, “Jim, Blair, you still there? What are you waiting for?”

“On our way, Simon.” Jim put a hand on Blair’s shoulder, turning him towards the door.

***

They reached the Arks about an hour after darkness had fallen, and Jim appreciated the relative coolness. It never got as hot here during the day, and the nights were also milder than the icy cold of the deserts around Cascade. Given that they were now right on the equator, it was a puzzle they had yet to find an answer to, but everyone was grateful for it. Simon was waiting for them at the door of the Ark where they had their living quarters.

“We need to go to the primary,” was all he would tell them. “There’s something you need to see.”

It could have been anything, but Jim felt his body tensing up as they entered the largest of the Arks. This was where Alex was being cared for. The last he’d heard she was still in a vegetative state, and none of the medics had any idea why. What if she’d come out of her fugue? How would he react? More importantly, how would Blair react? Jim could feel his turmoil through the bond, which, considering Blair had damped it down as far as he was able, meant that Blair was stressing just as much as he was.

Sure enough, Simon led them to the medical centre, where Serena met them. She’d been the coroner back in Cascade, but now she practised on living bodies and seemed happy enough with the change. Tonight, she wasn’t looking so happy.

“The committee asked me to report on Alex’s condition.” Serena glanced at Simon, and then Blair. Jim couldn’t help noticing that she’d avoided looking at him. “To help them with their decision, I’ve been doing an in-depth analysis of her physical condition, and-”

“Wait a minute.” Blair held up a hand to stop her. “You’re discussing whether to  _kill_  her? You can’t-”

“Blair, we can’t afford the resources to maintain life support indefinitely.” Simon, too, was avoiding looking at Jim directly. “If there’s no hope of her recovering, then this is a decision we’ll have to make, sooner or later.”

“But-”

“Simon’s right, Blair,” Jim said reluctantly. He felt sick with shame and guilt. “It’s no favour to her to keep her alive like this.”

“Well, as it happens…” Serena finally looked directly at him, “there’s another factor now. I only discovered it this morning after Blair had left.” She led them to the small cubicle where Alex was lying on a biobed. As far as Jim knew, she hadn’t moved under her own volition since she’d been placed there.

Serena brought up the biomed display. Jim’s medic training had never reached this level, but the brain activity readouts looked very wrong. “Essentially, her neural activity is just enough to maintain autonomic functions like breathing, but all higher functions have ceased. Now, it’s possible she could remain in this state indefinitely, if we provide nutrition, but there’s no chance of recovery. However…” she brought up another display, “while I was checking her other vitals, I came across some anomalous readings. See this small spike here? That’s human chorionic gonadotropin, or HCG. It’s an early indication of pregnancy. It wasn’t there when I first examined her, so this indicates that her pregnancy is of very recent date.”

It took a conscious effort for Jim to shape the words: “ _How_  recent?” He couldn’t look at Blair.

“A day or two either side of her being brought here.” Serena sounded almost apologetic. “That’s the time frame for the fertilised egg to implant. Once it does, HCG production immediately increases.”

Simon obviously knew about the pregnancy already, and had guessed the rest of it. He cleared his throat and the sound seemed incredibly loud. “Gods’ know, we need children if we’re to survive, but if this is going to be a problem for you two…”

It took a moment for Jim to realise what he was suggesting. He stared at Simon numbly, his mind blank.

Blair was quicker. “ _No_! No, you can’t possibly…” he choked, then managed to say calmly, “Alex has the same enhanced senses that Jim has. If there’s even a chance that this… this… that it’s genetic…”

Oh, god… that was something Jim hadn’t even considered.

Simon grunted dubiously. “Jim? What do you want to do?”

“I…” He stopped, his jaw muscle twitching furiously. Things between him and Blair were strained enough. How would this affect them? Losing Blair was unthinkable, but the alternative... “Do whatever you think is best.”

“Jim?” Blair incredulous voice reached him as he strode down the hallway. He heard Blair say: “Simon, I have to…” before he adjusted his hearing to something approaching normal levels.

He’d have to face Blair sometime, and deal with the fallout from this new disaster, but not yet.

***

By the time Blair found Jim five minutes later, the initial numb shock had worn off leaving raw anger in its place. Jim had gone to ground in a small meeting room, and if Blair hadn’t used the bond to home in on Jim’s shame and regret, he wouldn’t have found him at all. He was leaning against the comms console, hands clenched on the edge, staring blindly at the controls and didn’t even move when Blair came to stand beside him.

“Jim!” He put a hand on Jim’s shoulder and Jim flinched, pulling away with a startled cry. Blair realised that he must have narrowed his senses down almost to nothing and hadn’t heard him enter.

For some reason that infuriated him even more. He grabbed Jim’s shirtfront with both fists, pushing at him and Jim allowed it – Blair had no illusions about that – staggering back a couple of steps. “I don’t believe this. How can you just… just abdicate… it’s your  _child_ , Jim.”

Jim’s mouth tightened for a split second. “It’s not a child. It’s just a collection of cells.”

“That’s  _not_ …” Blair closed his eyes, drew in a deep breath. “Okay, I know that’s true, but those cells have the potential…” he was still holding onto Jim’s shirtfront, and he shoved again, enough to rock Jim on his heels. “…it’s your child…” he felt the silent protest through the bond “…your  _potentia_ l child.  _Your_  decision. You can’t just pass it on to somebody else.”

“Can’t I?” A bitter smile twisted Jim’s lips. “If I end it, what will you do? Or do you really want to see a child of Alex’s and mine growing up before your eyes? What if you can’t accept the decision I make?”

“It’s still your decision – even if it’s only to let someone else decide.” Blair closed his eyes, blanking his conscious thoughts to allow his spirit to speak to him. After a moment he sighed heavily. “I can accept any decision you make as long as it’s made for the right reasons.”

Jim sighed too, and Blair felt the fight drain out of him. He opened his eyes to see Jim’s face, lined and wearied. “So, basically, I’m screwed.”

Blair felt his lips curve slightly. “You’ll make the right decision, Jim. Just trust yourself.” He released Jim’s shirtfront and smoothed the wrinkles under his palms, blinking furiously. “And I don’t totally blame your for what happened with Alex. It was my fault just as much as yours. I should have… if the bond had been stronger… if I hadn’t been afraid… and you hadn’t let me…”

“No.” Jim laid his fingers over Blair’s lips, mercifully silencing him. “No, you’re  _wrong_. Blair, that’s just crazy. What happened between Alex and me... it was like a compulsion. I couldn’t stop myself… I didn’t even really try. You can’t think that our sex life had anything to do with it.”

Blair pushed Jim’s hand away from his mouth, giving the fingers a gentle squeeze before he released them. “Yes, I  _can_ , Jim. Not because of the sex, exactly, but because I’ve held back. I haven’t trusted you, or myself, and the bond is weaker because of it. If it had been strong enough, you would  _never_  have touched Alex.”

Jim shook his head stubbornly, clearly not convinced.

“It’s okay.” Blair reached up to kiss him then stepped back. “Go tell Serena and Simon your decision, and then come find me.”

***

_They’ve almost reached the end of the story. Some of the kids – mostly the younger ones – are squirming with mingled impatience and excitement. The others are focused, watching Blair intently, waiting for the climax._

_Blair, entertainer as well as educator, pauses and looks around the ring of children, the adults scattered outside this charmed circle – there’s always a few adults – and smiles. He loves telling their story. It isn’t necessary; all the records are loaded into the library system, both in text and audio. Anyone can access the information; but Blair believes in the power of storytelling, and the children like to hear it this way. They like the little embellishments that Blair adds, different every time, and they like to ask questions, to feel like they’re part of the story. Jim will even admit, sometimes, that he likes it too._

***

It was unfair of Jim to laugh, Blair thought later, once he’d woken properly. At one in the morning, surely he could be excused for mistaking the shrill chirping of a comms unit for the reedy wail of a three-week-old infant.

He was still stumbling towards the tiny nursery when Jim rolled over and reached out a long arm to silence the sound. “What is it?”

Blair stopped in the doorway, blinking, as the realisation that their daughter was still asleep sank in.

“Okay, okay. We’ll be over as soon as we can. Have you called Simon?” Jim nodded in response to something then closed the connection without another word. “We have to get over to the control centre. Simon knows about it and he said bring Lexi over. Joan will look after her.”

“At this hour?” Blair grumbled. “What’s going on?”

“Another important discovery, apparently.” Jim shrugged, sitting fully upright and swinging his feet over the edge of the bed. He pressed his hands to his eyes for a brief moment while Blair tried, unsuccessfully, not to admire too openly the play of muscles under smooth skin. A soft chuckle told him that Jim had caught the faint tinge of lust through the bond. “Don’t you think of anything else?”

He didn’t sound too disgruntled, and Blair sent a tendril of smug satisfaction in Jim’s direction. “I don’t have too much else to think about. Not with Lexi taking up most of my time.”

It had been an easy decision. Jim was still ambivalent about the presence of Alex’s, and his, daughter in their lives, though Blair had caught him, on a couple of occasions, cradling the baby close against his chest and tickling her tiny feet. Besides, Jim’s sentinel abilities – they’d all adopted Alex’s name for them – were too valuable for him to spend all his time looking after his daughter.

It only made sense for Blair to care for most of Lexi’s needs, and he had a handful of willing volunteers to take her when he was needed for any situation where he couldn’t take Lexi along with him. It was working, and that was all that mattered right now.

Lexi barely stirred when Blair, now fully dressed, lifted her carefully out of the crib. He passed her to Jim, who wrapped a blanket around her and settled her in the crook of his arm. Already, he was handling her much more comfortably than in the strained days immediately after her birth and Alex’s final release.

They didn’t speak again until after they’d left Lexi at Simon and Joan’s house. Simon had waited for them and they all piled into one of the tiny flitters that would get them close to the pyramid in minutes rather than hours, now there was a clear path for them to use.

“They didn’t tell me much,” Simon grumbled. “Just that they’d found another control room of some kind.”

“And it couldn’t wait till morning?”

Blair leaned forward between the two of them. “It must be important. They wouldn’t wake us up just for that. What were they doing there so late, anyway?”

“Anson said they were just about to finish for the night when Jesse called in the find.” Simon’s shoulder moved under Blair’s hand in an irritable shrug. “Then they spent a few hours trying to figure out what it does.”

“And do they know yet?”

Simon sighed. “Said they’re still testing.”

Since Simon obviously knew no more than that, Blair sighed resignedly and leaned back. In ten minutes they’d gone as far as the flitter would take them, and in another thirty they’d reached the pyramid. They strode through the lighted corridors, Blair taking the occasional extra skipping step to keep up with Jim and Simon’s longer legs. They were all silent, the other two as tense now as Blair.

The air of excitement in the control room was almost overpowering. Grazia was hunched over the console, speaking earnestly with Anson, who it seemed had gone to see the new discovery for himself. Three others were monitoring various control panels; Blair recognised the power controls but he had no idea what the others were for.

“Okay, what’s going-” Simon’s deep voice trailed off as Grazia held up an imperious hand, gesturing for silence.

“We’re ready. Waiting for your mark.”

“Okay.” Anson’s voice was trembling. “Activating now.” There was a tense silence, and then yells and whoops of excitement exploded through the comms unit. “We did it. Grazia, it worked!”

“ _What_  worked?” Simon all but bellowed through the resulting celebrations in the control room. “Will somebody, for the gods’ sakes, tell me what’s going on here?”

“You have to see it for yourself.” Grazia was beaming from ear to ear. “It’s quite close. I’ll take you there now.”

Simon grumbled and Blair felt Jim’s frustration mirroring his own through the bond, but they followed obediently, if not patiently, behind Grazia as she led them down a hallway, stopping at a patch of what they’d always considered blank wall. She touched a place on the wall that didn’t seem different from any other and a door slid open. Inside, there were three scientists, besides Anson, all of them clustered around a small table. There was a cage on the table with one of the lab animals inside.

“It seems all right, but I’ll need to run more tests in the medlab.” Jesse’s eyes were shining.

Anson nodded. “How long?”

“About thirty minutes, if everything’s clear. Longer if I find any abnormalities.” She glanced across at Blair and the others with a little smile. “Long enough for you to explain everything to them.”

Simon cleared his throat ominously. “Well, thank the gods somebody’s going to do that after waking us at  _one in the gods damned morning_.”

Jesse and Grazia left hurriedly, taking the cage with them. Simon, Jim and Blair all looked at Anson expectantly.

Uh, well…” Anson cleared his throat. “We found this control room this… I mean, yesterday morning. It took us quite a while to figure out…” he blinked as Simon growled menacingly, and then blurted out: “It’s a matter transmitter. That means…”

Simon held up a hand, palm out. “Yes, I think we all get what that means. Where does it go? Or can you send things anywhere?”

“It definitely requires a receiving device at the other end. There are about thirty coordinates in the database, but only one that works.” Anson shrugged disconsolately. “We don’t know where the terminus is, though. It just ends in another room like this one.”

“You’ve sent someone through?” Blair ignored the irritated look Simon directed his way. This was just too exciting.

“No. Of course not,” Anson said, disapproval writ large on his face. “That would be completely irresponsible. We used a recording device.”

Jim grinned and nudged Blair with his elbow, silently mouthing ‘irresponsible’. Blair ignored him, far more interested in the holo that Anson had just initiated. It showed a room, as Anson had said, very like the one they were in, only dimly lit.

“We then sent the monkey through to see what effect the transfer would have on a living creature.” And now Anson could barely restrain his excitement. “If all the test results are positive, we’ll send a volunteer through.”

“Me,” Blair interrupted, blithely disregarding the tendrils of alarm radiating from Jim. “I’ll go.”

Jim glanced at him sharply. “Not without me.”

“Neither of you are going anywhere.” Simon rumbled. “We can’t afford to lose either of you.” He glared at Anson as though the entire situation was his fault. “Find another volunteer.”

Anson smiled hopefully. “ _I_  could…”

“ _Another_  volunteer.”

***

Eventually, it was decided to send one of Grazia’s assistants, along with Henri to provide protection. Jim held his breath as the two men were enveloped in a shimmering light and then disappeared.

It seemed like a long time, but was really only a few seconds before Henri’s voice came over the comms. “Woah! What a ride, man.”

“Report, dammit.” Simon snapped. “Where  _are_  you?”

Another slight hesitation. “No idea, sir.” Henri’s voice was suddenly business-like, except for a faint tremor that was probably not detectible by anyone but Jim. “It looks like the complex, but… I don’t think that’s where we are.”

“There’s a time lag.” Anson reported. “Not much, but… they must be a long way off.”

“Any idea how far?” Jim frowned when Anson shook his head slowly. “Maybe we should bring them back.” He stopped Blair’s incipient protest with a hand on his shoulder. “Just while we assemble a larger team. And, yes, I think  _we_  should go this time.”

“Now you’re talking.” Blair beamed, bouncing in his excitement. “We need a mix of techs and security, right?”

Simon frowned. “Now, look… are you  _sure_ -” 

“Guys, you have to see this!” Henri’s voice came over the comms, shaking with excitement. “You need to get up here  _now_.”

“Report, dammit!” Simon leaned over the console, “Are you in danger?”

It seemed like everyone held their breath until they heard Henri’s voice. “No danger. It’s just… you’ve gotta see this, okay?”

Blair was already making a beeline for the transmitter platform. Jim, recognising the inevitable, was close behind. It was an eerie feeling, as the world seemed to shimmer for a moment before solidifying again with the two of them now in a similar, but not identical room.

“We’re okay, Simon.” Jim reported hurriedly, then: “H? We’re here.”

“On my way,” Henri couldn’t have been far away, Jim could hear him, normally as well as through the comms. A moment later Simon’s acknowledgement reached them.

“What do you think, Jim?” Blair was watching him expectantly. “Can you sense anything?”

Jim shook his head slowly, not a negative, but trying to identify barely perceptible sensations. “There’s something… I’m not sure. It feels… kind of a vibration, or maybe a sound, very low frequency…” He frowned, shook his head again. It was a weird feeling.

Blair stepped up close to him, laying his hand on Jim’s shoulder. It was usually enough to ground him but this time it didn’t help much. “Is there anyone around? Any danger?”

“No, nobody else. Only H and Reiger.” He shook himself all over, trying to throw off the effects of the sensations. “We might as well go meet them.”

They’d only just made it out into the hallway when Henri came around a corner, his face lighting up at the sight of them. “Crazy feeling, isn’t it?” He turned to go back the way he’d come. “C’mon. You gotta see this, guys.”

The corridors they followed him down were obviously created by the same technology as the pyramid complex. A technology none of their techs could duplicate or explain, yet. They’d found a vast database of information that would take years to sift through; none of it, so far, had given any indication of the existence of another site.

Henri stopped beside another doorway, grinning. “You’re not going to believe your eyes.”

***

_Everyone turns to look at the view screen on the wall behind them. It happens every time, and why shouldn’t it? Twelve years isn’t enough to blunt the awe that Jim feels every time he sees this._

_The huge disk all but fills the screen, a glowing border the only barrier between the planet and the darkness of space. But even space, as Blair likes to remind him, has bright shards of light scattered through it. And those lights are stars, like their own sun. Somewhere out there are other planets, other forms of life, maybe even other humans like themselves._

_The part of earth he can see – always the same part – is not much like the old holo that Blair still keeps, the one that showed them the way to the pyramid. The land is desiccated and no sign of life is visible from this distance, except for a small patch of green that defies the surrounding desert. Their home._

_The techs tell them that this ship – the Endeavour, they call it – is the reason their home has escaped the destruction of their planet. It hovers, protectively, above the pyramid, keeping pace with the earth as it turns; has done so for centuries, perhaps millennia. Nobody can explain to him exactly how it works, but he’s happy just to accept that it does._

_They know enough, now, to tell some of the story – how, facing the knowledge that Earth had entered a long, irreversible decline, a flotilla of ships had been built to find other planets suitable for human habitation. How, less than a month before the fleet was due to leave, this one ship had suffered catastrophic system failures that would take years, not weeks, to repair. How the decision had been made to stabilise life support and communications systems and leave the ship in orbit so that the descendents of those left behind might some day find the ship and repair it._

_It was their hope, it says in the logs, that those descendents would follow them, if they had not themselves already returned with news of a new home. That, Jim knows, is not a decision he and Blair, or their children, or their children’s children, will ever have to make. The science is far beyond the grasp of their best technicians, and will have to be relearned, slowly, over the generations before they can even think of repairing the Endeavour. And even then, should they follow? After so many centuries, is it even possible that the explorers have found habitable planets; or have they perished or lost their way in space?_

_Jim doesn’t know the answers to any of these questions. He just knows that the life they have now is good enough for him. And, as the children scatter from the circle, some going closer to stare at the view screen, others following Megan and Joel to explore the ship’s bridge, Jim stands and offers a hand to Blair to pull him upright. He doesn’t stop there, pulling Blair into an embrace and leaning down to kiss his lips._

_They have quarters on the ship – primarily a place to rest when they’re busy and don’t want to take the time to go back to their home at night. The children will be occupied for a few hours yet, and the other adults won’t mind keeping an eye on them. Blair catches the drift of his thoughts and the low rumble of his laughter vibrates against Jim’s chest._

 


End file.
